Recent comments in /f/Jokes
sonort t1_jchn3fy wrote
Babe I thought it was you, but it was an im-pasta
Eyre4orce t1_jchmm5d wrote
Reply to comment by infinit9 in A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
Why not the same bottle
JamesJokee t1_jchmjh4 wrote
You Fuccili Billy
infinit9 t1_jchf3n4 wrote
Reply to A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
One to burn and produce electricity, one to use as a bottling source of my own line of whiskey.
Advanced_Parsnip t1_jch9i11 wrote
Reply to A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
Crap I remember Dave Allen telling this joke back in the 1970's
Bdellio t1_jch5kgw wrote
Reply to comment by Petal_Chatoyance in A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
If the ocean was liquor and I was a duck...
JBluehawk21 t1_jch0wk2 wrote
Reply to A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
You could make a fair amount of money off a bottle of alcohol that never goes empty.
Wreckful5583 t1_jcgyye3 wrote
Reply to comment by Azzoguee in A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
I believe they meant if you can ask for one million dollars instead of just a singular dollar bill then you can ask for any number of the same thing in one wish, which I agree with.
DooleyMTV t1_jcgyemf wrote
Reply to comment by SlaughterFeast in What's orange and smells like an orange? by TheFek
You're slaughterfeast.
Petal_Chatoyance t1_jcgvqjy wrote
Reply to A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
"And that is how, after a drunken brawl in a train yard, the earth was flooded by an ever-growing mantle of whiskey, and why we now live at the bottom of a deadly global ocean of booze."
Azzoguee t1_jcgmxni wrote
Reply to comment by hobbes0405 in A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
Are you saying one bottle = 1/2 a million? I agree to those terms, take my money.
hobbes0405 t1_jcggtpp wrote
Reply to comment by StraightDildo in A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
Objection.
If he could wish for $1 million in a single wish, I see no reason he couldn't wish for 2 bottles under the same terms.
StraightDildo OP t1_jcgfgwb wrote
Reply to comment by helpful__explorer in A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
One bottle per wish.
JimDixon t1_jcg7nvl wrote
Reply to comment by solenn345 in What's orange and smells like an orange? by TheFek
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!
helpful__explorer t1_jcg2rpb wrote
Reply to A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
Is that two bottles for one wish, or one wish per bottle?
Daringlyinfuse244 t1_jcfyehz wrote
Reply to What's orange and smells like an orange? by TheFek
I was thinking Snooki before I clicked...
fullFlick73 t1_jcfxopq wrote
Reply to What's orange and smells like an orange? by TheFek
What’s orange, and goes ‟Click Click”?
A ballpoint carrot
___Phreak___ t1_jcfxbfi wrote
Reply to comment by Black_Kirk_Lazarus in A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
You say that, but those bottles would be worth a fortune
solenn345 t1_jcfwtmc wrote
Reply to What's orange and smells like an orange? by TheFek
What’s brown and sounds like radar?
Poop......... poop......... poop......... poop
SlaughterFeast t1_jcfwk6m wrote
Reply to What's orange and smells like an orange? by TheFek
You're mom.
Black_Kirk_Lazarus t1_jcfvcpn wrote
Reply to A genie says to an alcoholic drifter, "You have three wishes, what would you like for your first wish"? by StraightDildo
Yep, that's accurate alcoholic hobo math.
[deleted] t1_jccngu2 wrote
Reply to Why is Ganondorf afriad of the internet? by AntiHero515
He never visits Zora's Domain
AntiHero515 OP t1_jccigju wrote
Reply to comment by drunkenmonkey3 in Why is Ganondorf afriad of the internet? by AntiHero515
shit, I can't edit the title =(
drunkenmonkey3 t1_jcci976 wrote
Reply to Why is Ganondorf afriad of the internet? by AntiHero515
afraid*
AlliedDeerskin t1_jchnlf5 wrote
Reply to My wife divororced me because she caught me groping pasta by Dunge0nMast0r
She laughed when I said I wanted to make a car out of spaghetti, you should be seen her face when I drove pasta