Recent comments in /f/Jokes
MagentaKevin t1_jby875k wrote
Reply to comment by DidntWantSleepAnyway in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
My personal favourite is:
A man is being interviewed at a police station. A man leans forward and says "I'm not saying anything without my lawyer present". The police officer, confused, replies "but you are the lawyer" and the lawyer says "yeah...so where's my present?"
Janek_Polak t1_jby6g0t wrote
Reply to comment by Glorx in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
Upvote for the rhyme.
KnightBreaker_02 t1_jby62rl wrote
Reply to comment by DerRaumdenker in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
Divine Justice
delhistud12 t1_jby5crz wrote
Reply to comment by nartziss in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
But joke number 69 always gives me laugh
nametakenfuck t1_jby40yb wrote
Reply to comment by Neil_sm in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
Ah its exactly the first thing that came to my mind but i wasnt sure because i didnt think its that popular
Neil_sm t1_jby3qdd wrote
ChaseShiny t1_jby3ahy wrote
Reply to comment by EggCouncilCreeps in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
There's a reason he was known as the Rock
Jjzeng t1_jbxyjxp wrote
Reply to comment by DerRaumdenker in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
r/TIHI
emzirek t1_jbxxre8 wrote
Reply to comment by DidntWantSleepAnyway in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
what do you call a million lawyers in hell?
a damn good start
Agnosticfrontbum t1_jbxxana wrote
Reply to A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
I just bought a new book on herpetology called Snakes, Lawyers and Other Reptiles.
I_L0ve_M1necraft t1_jbxwwzh wrote
Reply to A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
Lawyers go to Hell joke, haha, so funny and original.
things_U_choose_2_b t1_jbxv6by wrote
Reply to comment by truebydefinition in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
Rimmer: Kryten, you're forgetting Space Corp Directive 1742.
Kryten: 1742? No member of the Corp should report for duty in a ginger toupee?
kanna172014 t1_jbxubin wrote
Reply to comment by ctesla01 in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
I don't mean the lawyers, I mean the couple. They can wait at their new home just as easily as at the gates.
EggCouncilCreeps t1_jbxtrk7 wrote
Reply to A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
It took Peter six weeks to find a priest?
truebydefinition t1_jbxtihs wrote
Reply to comment by nartziss in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
nartziss: "345"
truebydefinition: "meh"
nartziss: "What's wrong with 345? 345 is hilarious."
truebydefinition: "Oh, I completely agree. The problem wasn't the joke, it was your delivery."
DerRaumdenker t1_jbxsxfb wrote
Reply to A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
What do you call a priest who's also a lawyer?
Father in law
ctesla01 t1_jbxsnce wrote
Reply to comment by kanna172014 in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
I hope like Dante and D&D, their are levels of hell, because I don't want them in my neighborhood..
ctesla01 t1_jbxs5el wrote
Reply to comment by Fortapistone in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
Never heard this one, but spot on!
Glorx t1_jbxqoez wrote
Reply to A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
Jesus Christ had twelve apostles. Saint Peter was not the brightest of the lot. If he had used his brain, he would have married the couple on the spot.
nametakenfuck t1_jbxq71j wrote
Reply to comment by nartziss in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
What?
Darkmuscles t1_jbxq0zt wrote
Reply to comment by Blockenstein in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
This… this is what breaks me.
Material_Victory_661 t1_jbxpg0m wrote
Reply to comment by DidntWantSleepAnyway in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
Comes up pretty regularly. Must have slipped by.
-SARS-CoV-2 t1_jbxobo8 wrote
Reply to comment by nartziss in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
r/beatmetoit
Blockenstein t1_jbxnrie wrote
Reply to comment by peter_the_martian in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
They keep track in a Jeremy Bearimy-sort of way. Time feels like it's passing for you, but it's not the same as time passing in the mortal plane.
MagentaKevin t1_jby8yy0 wrote
Reply to comment by ronniecalberta in A man and his girlfriend died in a car accident and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates by LordFarhaams
You're joking right? St Peter did everything right on earth, so much so that he was canonised and God repaid him by making him the only person in heaven to have a stressful, permanent, full-time job. I'd be cursing him every which way if I were him!!