Recent comments in /f/Jokes
Goatty-Goat t1_jbs3c8u wrote
Reply to comment by Piisamanirotta in A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. by YZXFILE
It's all fun and games, until
K16w32a2r4k8 t1_jbs2b6h wrote
Reply to comment by Mantonythe1st in Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
That’s not original. Check Terry Pratchett’s second disc world book, “The Light Fantastic”.
blackdragonstory t1_jbru1n6 wrote
Reply to comment by Briaaanz in Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Vatman
Arkvoodle42 t1_jbrdij8 wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
"I once went to a doctor; all he did was take blood samples from my neck.
Do not go see Dr. Acula."
lassehp t1_jbrcodv wrote
Reply to comment by humanRR in A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. by YZXFILE
...at any rate...
Guitardude_33 t1_jbraor5 wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Grrr. Aaarrrg.
Briaaanz t1_jbr8m2p wrote
Reply to comment by Mantonythe1st in Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Cause I'm Batman
Mantonythe1st t1_jbr85vi wrote
Reply to comment by Briaaanz in Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
How are you delivering these puns with the speed and confidence of Robin Williams??
YZXFILE OP t1_jbqlndx wrote
Reply to comment by Trama-D in A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. by YZXFILE
I can dig it!
Smaptey t1_jbqf359 wrote
xanthraxoid t1_jbqd4f1 wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Ouch, this joke is a pain in the neck!
peter_the_martian t1_jbq9kul wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
I once dated a vampire, accidentally killed her when I made her garlic shrimp scampi
humperty t1_jbq9fvk wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
You'll get no fangs from me.
TomppaTom t1_jbq9356 wrote
Reply to comment by Piisamanirotta in A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. by YZXFILE
And what’s a pirates least favourite letter?
“Dear sir, we are writing to inform you that your IP address has been recorded illegally downloading copywrited material…”
humanRR t1_jbq8xxq wrote
Reply to comment by YZXFILE in A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. by YZXFILE
They would give an I for it
Trama-D t1_jbq8623 wrote
Reply to A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. by YZXFILE
At first I thought her presence was marking the spot, so I had no idea why she was relieving herself... but there she was, marking the spot alright!
But she hsould say something like «Now it should be easy», a bit more cryptic than «Well, here you go! Good luck digging it up». This makes it clear she knew where the treasure was. A more dubious comment would make it much harder to realize this was no coincidence.
edlee98765 t1_jbpznsm wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Bad jokes are like vampires.
They suck.
YZXFILE OP t1_jbpwvm7 wrote
Reply to comment by Adventurous_Ask_9098 in A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. by YZXFILE
Ex marks the spot.
Adventurous_Ask_9098 t1_jbpvjcj wrote
Reply to A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. by YZXFILE
This "joke" itself has less value than what Carol dumped.
MagicMark0511 t1_jbpmy6a wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Imguran t1_jbpf9sl wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Now I'm going to have to watch Interview again.
Klotzster t1_jbpa5cp wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Oh, great. Now we're going to have Vampire Giraffes
saltesc t1_jbp9517 wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
God damn it.
Briaaanz t1_jbp8e5u wrote
Reply to Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Grrr. Lick my wounds and call it. U won my upvote. That was a joke i could really sink my teeth into. It didn't suck, it didn't make me cross. I wish i could mirror your example, just can't see how.
UndersizedGiant t1_jbt1csc wrote
Reply to comment by K16w32a2r4k8 in Vampires love to bite throats, killing people & then returning them to life by PantsyFants
Maybe he’s Terry pratchett