Recent comments in /f/Jokes
leothereum t1_jabgfbl wrote
Reply to Why don't ants get sick? by newyorkcitydude
I have tried to talk to them, but I can't tell what their answer is since it is an ant language.
Nuf-Said t1_jabgded wrote
Reply to "Cell" and its derivatives (Cellular, Cellulose, Cellulite, etc.) are the only English words where the C is pronounced like an S. by tsatsawassa
And sugar is the only word in the English language that is spelled su, but pronounced sh. And of that I’m sure.
ILive2Drum t1_jabg1wh wrote
Reply to comment by GuaranteeHeavy3161 in Yo mama so fat by LeoReddit2019
I know exactly what that’s from! Good taste you have.
JackJack65 t1_jabg1nm wrote
Reply to comment by forkedquality in Why should you never tell a chemistry joke? by stinky_cheese33
They died, we had to barium.
Improv13 t1_jabfwyp wrote
Reply to How many months have 28 days? by CFCYYZ
If you take all the first letters of the month starting with June you get JJASONDJFMAM or
J. Jason, DJ FM/AM the guy playing all the hits of the month on terrestrial radio!
Not a joke, but as not a joke as the OPs post.
alogbetweentworocks t1_jabfk21 wrote
Reply to comment by Ahshalon_Tenisk in I tried to hit on an IT woman by gilfromisrael
You’re recommending cli on it woman?
gt0075b t1_jabfg12 wrote
Reply to My friend started a tattoo parlor that only accepts payment in the form of flashing. by issapenguin
Can you flash your ass for a tat too?
Irrelevance351 t1_jabfay1 wrote
Didn't the same thing happen in Azerbaijan in 2013?
Candan55 t1_jabfalk wrote
Reply to Why did the raisin cross the road ? by FrenTimesTwo
Well that's just grape
PenguinHero007 t1_jabez4q wrote
Reply to What do you call a dictionary thief? by HawtSinnamon
Stolen from its shelf
Pages of words and knowledge gone
Silence fills the room
MarvinTheAndroid42 t1_jabejc9 wrote
Reply to comment by Puzzleheaded_Arm6363 in A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door... by Gaphumbala
As people have said, it does not work.
A fun contraction which does work just fine is “I’d’ve”(I would have), which I love. It doesn’t help us here, but it’s something real you can take away.
choozu911 t1_jabeah6 wrote
How old are you?
[deleted] t1_jabdnll wrote
Reply to comment by Candan55 in "Cell" and its derivatives (Cellular, Cellulose, Cellulite, etc.) are the only English words where the C is pronounced like an S. by tsatsawassa
[deleted]
roominating237 t1_jabdjbb wrote
Reply to comment by AveryJuanZacritic in "Cell" and its derivatives (Cellular, Cellulose, Cellulite, etc.) are the only English words where the C is pronounced like an S. by tsatsawassa
I'm cerious. And don't call me Churley.
Tamison2112 t1_jabddd5 wrote
Reply to comment by astrangeone88 in Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met. by SionGest
Danger! Danger! High voltage!
Bumpass t1_jabdd9u wrote
Reply to My friend started a tattoo parlor that only accepts payment in the form of flashing. by issapenguin
Well that's perfect because I need a tat for my tit.
Ancientoldmonkrum t1_jabdd56 wrote
Reply to What drugs do ducks do? by CK_HAMAD48
SeaWeed
Kitarraa t1_jabd85u wrote
Reply to comment by lykabettos in A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door... by Gaphumbala
It's actually illegal. Breaks brains.
[deleted] t1_jabd62w wrote
crispilly OP t1_jabczb3 wrote
Reply to comment by notaliberal2021 in Statistically there are by crispilly
Before what?
Vinylloverfrom4311 t1_jabclcx wrote
Reply to What drugs do ducks do? by CK_HAMAD48
Drug, drug, GOOSE!
Chernobyl-Chaz t1_jabcity wrote
Reply to Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met. by SionGest
That’s the first Reddit joke that made me cry. 🤣
SomugaienParfu t1_jabcdo9 wrote
Reply to My mom used to tuck me in when I was young by Psyman2
As soon as I saw the title, I immediately expected the worst. Good to see I'm not the only degenerate.
jrtts t1_jabc9zo wrote
Reply to What do you call a dictionary thief? by HawtSinnamon
A thiefsaurus?
marycartlizer t1_jabgi2s wrote
Reply to Yo mama so fat by LeoReddit2019
She never been swimming because it's never been half an hour since she last ate.