Recent comments in /f/Jokes
ansolo00 t1_ja5pcoj wrote
But wouldnt his eyeballs be the next point to measure to?
Dis_boi_28 t1_ja5p9at wrote
Reply to comment by LoopDeDoopLaLoop in They DoD realized they have too many Generals. by bigwolf29
r/subsifellfor
MisterDecember t1_ja5p3lf wrote
Reply to comment by bigwolf29 in They DoD realized they have too many Generals. by bigwolf29
For the non Americans, USMC stands for Uncoupled Scrotum Missing in Combat.
MCRDSD is the Museum of Chopped, Removed and Detached Scrotum on Display. It’s a great museum. Wonderful exhibits but everything smells of formaldehyde.
[deleted] t1_ja5oulr wrote
Reply to How do computers get drunk?? by c0dyw0dy27
[removed]
Usof1985 t1_ja5onvy wrote
Reply to comment by Erock482 in They DoD realized they have too many Generals. by bigwolf29
The Pentagon covers 34 acres. I'm going to say $1.25
Ogfrebu83 t1_ja5nuyr wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? by ChurchOfAdonitology
Except for Gremlins.
Atlanar t1_ja5nrfh wrote
Reply to What's worse than a lobster on a piano? by Metall3x
Cancer in your organs.
Ogfrebu83 t1_ja5np9h wrote
What goes in stiff, comes out wet, and smells like fish.
The scuba diver.
Cowboy_Reaper t1_ja5n38x wrote
Reply to Life is like a box of chocolates by rokburok
Life is like a bowl of jalapeños.
What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow.
CrimsonPresents t1_ja5mngi wrote
Reply to comment by Spark115 in Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Halloween? by crispilly
What is young earth creationism?
Your_Mystery_Man t1_ja5mgey wrote
Snakes and ladders
phinbar t1_ja5mbud wrote
Pasta
JoshB685 t1_ja5lz7q wrote
Reply to comment by MacaronOver4543 in Life is like a box of chocolates by rokburok
But Life is like, a box of cereal! 🥣
TonyThePapyrus t1_ja5lyr9 wrote
Reply to comment by patelnirpendra in Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Halloween? by crispilly
Have copies of the bee movie (or the script) and ask them if they wanna talk about our lord and savior Beesus Christ
sutroheights t1_ja5lxzi wrote
Reply to comment by Zeric79 in What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? by ChurchOfAdonitology
Pringles mostly. Sometimes Funyuns if I’m feeling groovy.
hello_raleigh-durham t1_ja5lu9n wrote
I was invited to premature ejaculators anonymous. I didn’t know what to wear. I just came in my pants.
graygemini t1_ja5llc0 wrote
Paper straw
Skilledpainter t1_ja5l9tn wrote
Depends how long it's in for
MyLifeisTangled t1_ja5l6sh wrote
Reply to comment by eatenbyalion in They DoD realized they have too many Generals. by bigwolf29
For most people, wingspan = height. That means you have an ape index of 0. Some people (like my grandmother) have a wingspan that is noticeably less than their height. That means you have short arms (negative ape index) and should choose to measure from head to toe for the most money. Other people (myself included) have a wingspan that is noticeably greater than their height. That means you have long arms (positive ape index) and should choose to measure from fingertip to fingertip for the most money. It means you M0NKEY
elispotato t1_ja5l20d wrote
Spaghetti
[deleted] t1_ja5l0bq wrote
Reply to a kid asks "mommy how are babies made?" by pacatmalan
Uh
DirtFoot79 t1_ja5l07l wrote
A murder victim. Bury them while they're in rigor mortis. They come out moist and gooey when the police dig them up.
Source: I didn't do anything wrong, I want a lawyer.
NoPensForSheila t1_ja5ktb4 wrote
Reply to Life is like a box of chocolates by rokburok
...a lot of it looks little turds
EIlenRipley t1_ja5kqpg wrote
Reply to comment by emptybottleofdoom in There are 7.888 billion people on earth by SecurityNo1814
Yeah
Professional-Help114 t1_ja5ph76 wrote
Reply to Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Halloween? by crispilly
Because they don't believe in ghosts!