They’re scared Dracula will ask for a transfusion.

Tea

Extension Ladder

You picked sex, booze, job, wedding, mortgage, kids, tax, divorce, inflation, unemployment, war, depression, homelessness and funeral but you still think the next one might be as good as the first 2 you tried.

That’s far too many weeks to be in a refrigerator.

But he tastes so good!

Asian pears after 267 weeks in my fridge

I'll Will end it like this: general what's the distance. -5 inches, so that is 5,000 dolars. -yes but I make a Bet of 1000 dolars to all soldiier In this platoon that the general Will be touching My balls and penis before I retire xD

Amy schumer? Lizzo? Whoopie goldberg?

Celebration day.

This actually happened, sort of, in Sheridan’s play « The Rivals ».

When it was performed the first night, the actor playing Sir Lucius O’Trigger was booed, and yelled to the audience « By the pow'rs, is it personal? — is it me, or the matter? », meaning «  Are you booing my character, or my performance? ». Unluckily for him, it was both. Sheridan rewrote the play and also replaced the actor for the next performance.

Admission is 2750 krona, which is like 19-20 US dollars

not to mention what happened to POWs

Gum ... if it's far enough in the bum.

Why did all the ladies love Jesus?

Cause he was hung like this:

|(ツ)|

There is no going away. We exist in a medium designed to be customized. There is only blocking. If you want something, bring it into your bubble. If you dislike it, hide it from yourself and live in blissful ignorance. Your existence is no more tedious than mine. I like giving attention to seekers of it. You love seeking it. We were made for each other. You came back to read my words. You came back to consume. I am here to feed you. Suckle at my teat and ignore the call of the void pulling you, forcing you to look into oblivion. Drink.

Hollup… Let him cook

[deleted]

Did you hear about the Holocaust?

The Jews did Nazi that one coming.

They need to factor in someone taring off their own arm then beating someone with it

Or fit through a revolving door

Marjorie Taylor Greene!!!

This is my favorite repost by far

Gaddam 🤨 II

So you’re saying even though my ‘gram’other is massive she weighs nothing. Now that’s a lady that can chow down on those chocolates.