ExpressDesk7740 t1_ja4qkux wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:54 PM

Reply to What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? by ChurchOfAdonitology

A burial

Ripcord2 OP t1_ja4qkmh wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:54 PM

Reply to comment by BaldingMonk in An actor was on stage playing Macbeth... by Ripcord2

Because the two words you should never say in a theater are "fire" and "Macbeth."

Substantial-diabetic t1_ja4qjc0 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:54 PM

Reply to a kid asks "mommy how are babies made?" by pacatmalan

You see when mommy and daddy love each other so much they rub spores and then you come out of another unexpected person grow in them and burst out killing the host

HkayakH t1_ja4qh3o wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:54 PM

Reply to They DoD realized they have too many Generals. by bigwolf29

That Admiral is cheating. That's 3 points.

VerminReaper t1_ja4qgku wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:53 PM

Reply to Life is like a box of chocolates by rokburok

Life is like a box of chocolates - stay outta mine!

VeritosCogitos t1_ja4qg9k wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:53 PM

Reply to comment by HybridTheoryY2K in Did you RVSP your invite to the Procrastinators Club? by rainbowarriorhere

My head put them in order, I missed the typo in the original joke.

JohnyBooty t1_ja4qfj0 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:53 PM

Reply to comment by Tomi8338 in There are 7.888 billion people on earth by SecurityNo1814

This comment made this joke funny

BaldingMonk t1_ja4qbyu wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:53 PM

Reply to An actor was on stage playing Macbeth... by Ripcord2

And then the theater burned down.

Skelligean t1_ja4qbj0 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:52 PM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? by ChurchOfAdonitology

Thank you Captain Obvious

jrtts t1_ja4q968 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:52 PM

Reply to comment by pawnee_jim in What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics? by Outcazt-

Oh my gosh, that would make my day!

(But only for a day)

ThRvrnd t1_ja4q7q5 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:52 PM

Reply to What's worse than a lobster on a piano? by Metall3x

AIDS.

awesome2428 t1_ja4q553 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:51 PM

Reply to It’s really hard for me to tell people what my wife does for a living. by porichoygupto

She also works in Seychelles

drsideburns t1_ja4q1u0 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:51 PM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in Why did Jesus really die? by [deleted]

I believe a Jesus died.

Everything else… not as much

Ace_de_Klown t1_ja4pvne wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:50 PM

Reply to Fire is cold, yo, stay STILL! by [deleted]

"And then, my friend, you die"

TraditionalForm3963 t1_ja4poby wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:48 PM

Reply to comment by Nonner_Party in Last night I had a dream that I was weightless.. by Response-Cheap

That was heavy

yldf t1_ja4pnz8 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:48 PM

Reply to comment by krstphr in Did you RVSP your invite to the Procrastinators Club? by rainbowarriorhere

Never watched French Star Wars?

leuno t1_ja4plnv wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:48 PM

Reply to comment by SirKebab69 in An actor was on stage playing Macbeth... by Ripcord2

Actually the joke is also shakespeare

mossed2222 t1_ja4plc1 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:48 PM

Reply to comment by Satanic_soup_dragon in They DoD realized they have too many Generals. by bigwolf29

How? The very first line is just ridiculous.

mossed2222 t1_ja4pjij wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:47 PM

Reply to They DoD realized they have too many Generals. by bigwolf29

> So they offer a retirement package where they have a doctor measure the distance between any two points on their body and they get $10,000 for every inch.

Perfectly normal.