It wasn't April 1st yet

Yay! First person to downvote!

An irritating pop song raped my ears for almost a year (intermittently) where the singer proclaimed that he had not slept for a year... Imagine how quickly you would die if you ONLY slept. And i hear TOTAL absence of sleep kills you within ... What... 14 days i think...

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This wasn't that good.

How about:

-I haven't slept for a week... -Oh, that's good! It could have very bad consequences for you to sleep for that long.

You said dad joke not bad joke

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It was a bad joke and bad things go to prison.

And then out of nowhere a car appeared instantly killing the man.

I don't get it

You are probably thinking about two half to death beatings. But that's not the essence of the joke.

So let me clear it for you. I can clear it using maths as well but for the starters let me try it using words only.

Double of half is full. So if I'm getting beaten half to death, my twin would get beaten full to death!

I hope you understand now. If you still don't, let me use maths.

Consider health of both twins(T1 &T2) to be exact same at 100.

Let us assume that it takes 50 punches to get T1's health down to 50. (Considering 100 as full health and 0 as death, 50 has to be half to death)

Now, since T2 get twice of T1, T2 would recieve 100 punches which will bring his health to 0 and hence, death!

Word of advice: Get there early to avoid tunnel traffic.

Seeds, the meaning of reproduction

Your math is not mathing….. double 1/2 (twin brother gets double of wishing brothers wish) is 1

Stop Stalin, get on with the joke!

that is engelic

Full Marx for that pun!

yeah cause sucking off the west is so awesome isn't it, best part is when they blow up their allies pipelines and bomb the middle east 10/10 morality thank fuck you dont sympathize with the russians

yeah mate im sure if you say something negative about the great leader you get assassinated, clearly you are a highly intelligent individual with a lot of nuance

I haven't slept for five days because that would be too long.

-Mitch Hedberg

r/whoosh

Let me explain the math to you. You start out with 100% health and get beaten to half that, thus you are now at 50% if you now get another beating that yet again takes half of that off, you start at 50% and end at 25% so the number is not two in the equation. Now if you take the two beating who took out a total of 50% and 25% of your health then you get to the number 75%

No no, he fell from 25th floor and shot himself midair 5 times all over his body after making tie knot around his neck and suffocated before felling into the acid tank that was mysteriously there on ground.