Recent comments in /f/Jokes
jupiteroh t1_j9lxfv5 wrote
Reply to comment by Outlaw_Trucker1977 in 3 men are granted 3 wishes by Outlaw_Trucker1977
*too
Chillrude t1_j9lxer8 wrote
Reply to comment by thebarberbenj in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia
Can confirm, comrade.
Vegetable_Neck4038 t1_j9lwqr9 wrote
Reply to comment by iloveradiohead225 in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia
The greater good
Finnianmu t1_j9lwobq wrote
Reply to 3 men are granted 3 wishes by Outlaw_Trucker1977
This is in my top ten favorite jokes
Buddy2269 OP t1_j9lwddy wrote
Reply to comment by XueShiLong in Snow. by Buddy2269
You can also say fuck, fuck, fuck if you want to.
Firewing435 OP t1_j9lwboc wrote
Reply to comment by darthdodd in My doctor he dont help either, he told me to run 5 Miles a Day for two weeks by Firewing435
Look up Rodney Dangerfield, hes HILARIOUS
samobon t1_j9lwal6 wrote
I'm Russian and I've made a commitment that when the motherfucker dies I'll be throwing a party inviting everybody I know in town.
XueShiLong t1_j9lvvev wrote
Bat-Honest t1_j9lv6c3 wrote
I wish this was true, they love that tyrant. 82% domestic approval rating as recently as last month.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/896181/putin-approval-rating-russia/
skaote t1_j9lv4gj wrote
Reply to What’s yellow and can’t float? by [deleted]
The Yellow submarine?
Schlabby t1_j9ltzea wrote
I get your "punchline" but this joke is unfortunately not really funny. Sounds like you are doing some sort of virtual signalling.
Azteh t1_j9ltu5n wrote
Reply to comment by whyamihere999 in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
50+(50*50/100)=75
darthdodd t1_j9ltqa5 wrote
Reply to My doctor he dont help either, he told me to run 5 Miles a Day for two weeks by Firewing435
Im thinking I like this joke
darthdodd t1_j9lto62 wrote
Reply to comment by Comfortable-Mood-451 in My doctor he dont help either, he told me to run 5 Miles a Day for two weeks by Firewing435
Your a tool
[deleted] t1_j9lss5u wrote
[deleted]
Pherophos t1_j9lrtjq wrote
I expected the punchline to be that the other half is MIA in Ukraine
ashif1983 t1_j9lrj6b wrote
Reply to comment by Bilberry12 in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia
Suspicious since he worked in the other building.
trucorsair t1_j9lqeu2 wrote
Reply to comment by USMCWrangler in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia
There is an old story about a man who wanted a scenic suicide but wanted it to be painless. So he made a noose on a tree limb over a high cliff that was facing west into the setting Sun. He took a big dose of morphine to make sure he felt no pain. Put the noose around his neck and jumped off the cliff. To be even more sure, he took a pistol with him, just in case the rope didn’t break his neck and he was in danger of slow strangulation. Anyway the rope jerked, the force of the jerk caused the pistol to go off, he shot the rope in half fell into the ocean where he swallowed a lot of seawater and threw up the morphine and was washed up on the beach, scared but alive. Feeling confident he collected his thoughts and began to walk back to town, taking this as a message from the universe that he should stay alive. Singing to himself with new found vigor he walked into the path of a bus and died….the end
Viv3210 t1_j9lqdew wrote
Reply to comment by crash866 in My doctor he dont help either, he told me to run 5 Miles a Day for two weeks by Firewing435
I called my turtle “the speed of light” just so I can say I run faster than the speed of light
Explains_Wrong t1_j9lpf1v wrote
Reply to What’s yellow and can’t float? by [deleted]
A lemon tied to a brick
JakeTalksSports t1_j9loaqz wrote
Can’t kill him if he gets them killed first 🤔
dragonfliesloveme t1_j9lns55 wrote
Reply to comment by thankyou3000 in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia
No one is saying there are massive riots everywhere.
Some people are saying that it is really a shame that there aren’t. Like, you should be rioting about it.
Patient_Yam4747 t1_j9lnmg8 wrote
Reply to comment by Idontdanceever in What’s yellow and can’t float? by [deleted]
Allegedly
Conscious_Broccoli50 t1_j9ln2cn wrote
Reply to A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
Nog
Chillrude t1_j9lxg50 wrote
Reply to comment by thebarberbenj in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia
Can confirm, comrade.