Recent comments in /f/Jokes
Fearchar t1_j9j0wsc wrote
Reply to comment by Snow_Wonder in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
See Hefty-Purchase's comment. You mixed up "east" and "west" in your first sentence.
However, if you travel far enough east from Russia, you'll hit Poland, and Mongolia is west of some parts of Russia!
whyamihere999 t1_j9j0nmk wrote
Reply to comment by LegitimateHasReddit in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
Double of half is one.
Half of half is quarter.
warpedspockclone t1_j9j0194 wrote
Reply to comment by Improv13 in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
Never heard of pro se, I take it?
LegitimateHasReddit t1_j9izh6t wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
And the genie beats the brother one quarter to death
PipBoy2011 t1_j9ixmly wrote
A black man finds a magic lamp, rubs it, and a genie appears.
The genie tells him he will grant him three wishes.
The black man says my first wish is be white, my second wish is to get plenty of ass, and my third wish is to always be hard.
The genie snaps his fingers and turns him into a toilet.
Between3-20Chars t1_j9ixi4p wrote
Thief?
Other-Cat-1020 t1_j9iv6oz wrote
Reply to A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
I kmife is like a penis... both can be stuck into men and women eithout concent.
Hefty-Purchase9213 t1_j9iupdw wrote
Reply to comment by Snow_Wonder in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
Poland is west of Russia.
lenny_ray t1_j9iu6cw wrote
Reply to comment by PygmeePony in Sugar is the only word in the english language where a singular "S" makes a "SH" sound. by WirrkopfP
Ok, have this one instead.
Teacher: "In some languages, a double negative is a positive. But there is no language in which a double positive is a negative"
Student in the back: "Yeah, right"
moreflywheels t1_j9iu1ld wrote
Reply to comment by bluesheepreasoning in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
Didn’t see that one coming
Outlaw_Trucker1977 OP t1_j9ityi3 wrote
Reply to comment by GeilesSchnittchen in 3 men are granted 3 wishes by Outlaw_Trucker1977
Apparently it deteriorated your grammar to! Lol, hope you enjoyed it.
GeilesSchnittchen t1_j9isnin wrote
Reply to 3 men are granted 3 wishes by Outlaw_Trucker1977
Thanks for wasting 5 minutes of my live.
Frednotbob t1_j9isjya wrote
Reply to comment by imnotdolphin in Sugar is the only word in the english language where a singular "S" makes a "SH" sound. by WirrkopfP
Shoot, I thought I was the first one to make the comment...
[deleted] t1_j9ishz5 wrote
Qalinx t1_j9irhj9 wrote
A guy in jail: what are you in for ? Murder, 20 years. You ? I looked at putin, 30 years. How come ?? I looked through a rifle scope.
CouldntCareLess_07 t1_j9iqtr1 wrote
Reply to comment by bluesheepreasoning in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
Some men just want to watch the world burn
doublefattymayo t1_j9iqnwq wrote
Akbeardman t1_j9iqk0m wrote
Reply to comment by UppityPotHead in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia
No no, he fell out of the window on accident, down 15 stories onto some bullets.
Snow_Wonder t1_j9iqfr8 wrote
Reply to comment by Avversariocasuale in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
So, the Poles hate the Russians, Poland is east of Russia, and Mongolia is west of Russia.
For a Mongolian horde to raid Poland, it would have to head west, through Russia, raiding all the way. For the horde to return home, it would have to head east, back through Russia, raiding all the way. Hordes after all have to pillage and raid during their travels to support themselves.
Will-Not-Smith t1_j9iqca7 wrote
Reply to A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
A knife is like a penis
Everytime I stick it in someone, I go to jail
darktowerseeker t1_j9iq4t6 wrote
One day a newly divorced woman finds a lamp in an antique shop and shines it to see what it is made of. To her a surprise a genie appears.
The genie is a tall and well muscled man who sneers at the woman.
"I know all and i see all. Your husband has left you for another woman because you weren't a good wife. I will grant you 3 wishes, but everything you get your ex-husband gets double of."
The woman nods and agrees to the terms.
"For my first wish I'd like $5 million."
The genie nods "and your ex-husband gets $10 million."
"For my second wish I would like a mansion on the best beach in California."
The genie shrugs. "It is done. And your ex gets two."
The woman thinks for a minute.
"Ok. I've got it! I wish to be pregnant with twins!"
stevedonie t1_j9ipijj wrote
Reply to comment by Luked0g44O in It’s a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… by Sapphire580
Nice. Found my Neil Diamond fan.
penny_whistle t1_j9iovt3 wrote
Reply to comment by theastallings in A polish man finds a magic lamp that has a genie. by etternalentity
Really? Size doesn’t matter I guess
viaprots t1_j9ioivr wrote
Reply to 3 men are granted 3 wishes by Outlaw_Trucker1977
Glad I am not the only one who is laughing weirdly at his desk. Very funny.. I was waiting to see what odd benefit this would bring him but nope, he done fucked up!
Longuer t1_j9j2acp wrote
Reply to comment by ravs1973 in A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
The ultimate dominance move.