Should it be "Doc I'm 70 miles from my house"?

It’s a quote. That’s how it was said.

A knife is like a penis… people overreact when you whip it out in junior high choir practice

It's funny as it is...

Just watch people trying to get it.

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Surley you can't be serious...

That’s a spoon... er, wait... is that a...? Oh! Mr. Johnson, it’s you!

I remeber hearing this in the late 80’s, from a guy who heard about it in the 60’s and he claimed it was a quote or exchange from George Bernard Shaw, who died in 1950. And amazingly it is still making the rounds.

Can you please spell check before you submit?

well them im highly effective

Ewwwwwww

Yes, but his name was never Octopussy. That's the name of the movie and short story.

But its still not touching the ground :(

James Bond gets a sex change ... cock to pussy

I’d kill her

My bank account is bigger but nothing’s changed in my pants. Where’s my second wish?

But it's not James Bonds

>doesn't really make sense.

"cocktopussy" "octopussy"

Trans male to female

get it?

I think it makes sense but do jokes have to make sense?

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

The punchline was removed because America has become so emotionally frail that the answer would decrease your quality of life 🙄. The overlords have spoken.

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Yep, but doesn't really make sense.

The Mongolians went through Russia six times because they start in Mongolia, go through Russia to get through Poland, then return through Russia to Mongolia. So every time they come to Poland, they go through Russia twice, and they come three times. 2•3=6. The Polish man hates Russia enough that he’s fine with his country being damaged as long as Russia is attacked twice as much.

It's actually a reference to a post someone's aunt shared on social media

A play on James Bond book by Ian Fleming "Octopussy"