Recent comments in /f/Jokes
Goat_Support_Dept t1_j9f2lvp wrote
Reply to comment by hard_knocks_dropout in It’s a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… by Sapphire580
Man's getting downvoted for making a joke about one of the ways to extract an artificial flavour. A whoosh was had.
uberguysmiley t1_j9f2l16 wrote
Reply to I like my coffee like I like my women by Seattleposer
Without someone else's dick in it.
RedditRushi t1_j9f221c wrote
Reply to comment by Living-Republic-3669 in CHRIS: Hey can I borrow a ten? by Majorpain2006
Mo-Bombed
ravs1973 t1_j9f0t14 wrote
Reply to A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
Now I'm thinking about a very different version of crocodile Dundee where Paul Hogan lobs his cock out and says 'that's not a penis, this is a penis"
majorlieg t1_j9ezquc wrote
Reply to How do I say I hate you in a nice way? by CoolEqual
"I look forward to becoming better strangers"
becelav t1_j9eyzqm wrote
Reply to comment by phantompenis2 in It’s a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… by Sapphire580
Yeah, as kids. They say gato-raid now
Gato pronounced as cat in Spanish.
Formal_Mundane t1_j9eyuu1 wrote
Reply to How do I say I hate you in a nice way? by CoolEqual
You must live long
phantompenis2 t1_j9eylwm wrote
Reply to comment by becelav in It’s a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… by Sapphire580
they put a syllable between ra and de?
Voidbearer2kn17 t1_j9eyf7q wrote
Reply to How do I say I hate you in a nice way? by CoolEqual
"Can't wait to read your warning label."
hymie0 t1_j9eybwi wrote
Reply to How do I say I hate you in a nice way? by CoolEqual
I was in my 40s when I suddenly understood the meaning of
"I'll see you later."
"Not if I see you first."
sdarkpaladin t1_j9ey9dm wrote
A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie pops out.
"I'll give you 1 wish," said the Genie.
"What happened to giving three wishes?" Asked the man.
"Check your bank account and in your pants," said the genie "I've been doing this for a long time".
hymie0 t1_j9ey11i wrote
Reply to comment by Killersmurph in How do I say I hate you in a nice way? by CoolEqual
If you remember Enron... Apparently a number of people went to Kenneth Lay's funeral "just to make sure".
tedead t1_j9exipn wrote
Reply to comment by MonkeyTesticleJuice in A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
Me, being a carpenter, I went with the sawtooth blade option. I even have the sawing motion down.
Improv13 t1_j9ex1lw wrote
A man rubs a bottle and a genie appears…
Genie: I shall grant you three wishes.
Man: I wish for a world without lawyers.
Genie: Done. You have no more wishes left.
Man: But you said I had three.
Genie: Sue me.
MonkeyTesticleJuice t1_j9ewy16 wrote
Reply to comment by mehfff in A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
You know what this means right? We have to have a dick blade fight to the death!
mehfff t1_j9ewqbr wrote
Reply to comment by MonkeyTesticleJuice in A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
Same, i prefer bayonets though.
MonkeyTesticleJuice t1_j9ew2tn wrote
Reply to A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
Which is why I had surgery to replace mine with a fake one that has a switchblade installed in it.
tommy3rd t1_j9eta94 wrote
Reply to comment by Rustymarble in It’s a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… by Sapphire580
He did not have sexual relations with that woman! just head. 🤣🤣
Shadowlance23 t1_j9et1id wrote
That got a lol from me, good work!
becelav t1_j9eqjhi wrote
Reply to comment by UnderwhelmingAF in It’s a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… by Sapphire580
As a kid We’d go visit family in Mexico and I’d ask for a Gatorade (gay-torade) and my cousins laughed. Went back 15 years later and they still made fun if me for pronouncing it that way because of the gay part.
They pronounce it “gato-ra-de”.
JudgmentalBeef t1_j9epoff wrote
Reply to I like my coffee like I like my women by Seattleposer
Ground into dust and boiled in water
NotAnADC t1_j9ep0so wrote
Reply to It’s a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… by Sapphire580
Florida State Seminole Vesticles
OG_Sephiroth_P t1_j9eos1d wrote
Reply to comment by Cbjfan99 in It’s a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… by Sapphire580
Brutus Juices lol
coon-cat t1_j9f4psv wrote
Reply to comment by ravs1973 in A knife is like a penis… by mach16lt
And the simpsons one - playing knifey spooney