United States congress

Don't get it.

Speech to text, “ there” doesn’t translate their. To lazy to typ a response.

A priest walks into a bar. And the bartender says hey if you’re looking for little boys … the priest interrupts him and says he’s actually not a priest and he rips off his mask and it’s actually the bartenders mother who then orders a rum and coke.

To be fair to you, I was wrong about the total, there are many more than 200,000, but substantially less than 8 billion.

If you were being pedantic you wouldn't have inclined gorillas as they are apes not monkeys

Joke in the comments always proves to be better

In NYS we had a joke, it was what is big orange and sleeps three? A New York State Thruway Authority truck

fired

You're not being pedantic, gorillas are apes not monkeys.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he is drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, ‟Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, ‟No, what?” ‟He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!” says the bartender. ‟Yeah, that does not surprise me,” replies the patron. ‟He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I‘ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he is in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. ‟Did you see what your monkey did now?” ‟Now what?” asks the patron. ‟Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper.

‟Yeah, that doesn‘t surprise me,” replies the patron. ‟He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”

Good one.

>The man rebuttholes

ftfy

Bababooeys?

Man goes to his doctor. Doctor says I’ve got bad news and worse news. Man says, “geez, give me the bad news first I guess”. Doc says “you’ve got 24 hours to live”. Man goes, “Christ! What could be worse than that?!” Doc says “I meant to tell you yesterday.”

While you’re being pedantic, I’ll be pedantic right back at you. There’s far more than 200k monkeys in the world. There are 250k gorillas alone, and 2.5 million macaques.

I don't get it either

What's big, orange and sleeps 5? A county road commission truck.

And the paridisio

[removed]

In your last sentence OP, you don't need the last 'with' since you've already included it in the sentence. I hope you found that helpful.

Upper Management

No, none of the managers cared enough.

English teachers.

Shh, you can't joke about politicians, we are in an era where sides are drawn and any humor not agreed with is taken personally. Proof will be those silly votes.

Congress