Recent comments in /f/Jokes
OriginalInsertDisc t1_j926yqt wrote
Reply to comment by mdf7g in I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
Bravo. Wish I could upvote this twice.
beautiful__demise t1_j9242hw wrote
The police knocked at my door, saying that my dog was chasing a kid on his bike. I slammed the door on them.
My dog doesn’t even have a bike.
beautiful__demise t1_j923dws wrote
Reply to I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
I went to that zoo that only has one animal: A dog.
It was a Shih-tzu.
baawri_kathputli t1_j921en5 wrote
It can stay, but it will lose its "woof".
Zomb1ehunter85 t1_j91wzdp wrote
Reply to comment by Carteeg_Struve in I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
Is that what we ate???
oldmanonsilvercreek t1_j91wmye wrote
A dead one
OPs_Real_Father t1_j91vuzs wrote
Reply to comment by mdf7g in I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
Yes there is: ass first.
Wise_Ad2289 t1_j91uybj wrote
Reply to comment by Buddy2269 in What kind of dog can stay underwater for a long time? by trimdaddyflex
I was gonna say a drowned one lol
BIGtimeLover10 t1_j91uany wrote
A dog with cinder blocks tied around it’s ankles?
Makuta_Servaela t1_j91tk5e wrote
Reply to I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
Even in the other way the phrase can be taken, it's true because most wild monkeys don't often come across or eat bananas.
Akrevics t1_j91s9wu wrote
Reply to comment by mdf7g in I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
Rhesus pieces
maynardstaint t1_j91r5oy wrote
Reply to comment by mdf7g in I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
Oh, theres a wrong way. They do not like being surprised.
quillandparchment7 t1_j91q63o wrote
Hotdog (Hotdog water)
keenky86 t1_j91pp38 wrote
a dead one.
[deleted] t1_j91k572 wrote
Reply to comment by fgyrghij in What kind of dog can stay underwater for a long time? by trimdaddyflex
[removed]
NoFaithlessness5122 t1_j91js8z wrote
Reply to I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
Personally, macaques rock
lbell1703 t1_j91jdvc wrote
Reply to comment by Soft_Truth_1325 in What kind of dog can stay underwater for a long time? by trimdaddyflex
That's how my dog died. Floats not sinks.
Soft_Truth_1325 t1_j91ihpo wrote
Reply to comment by lbell1703 in What kind of dog can stay underwater for a long time? by trimdaddyflex
I guess the sign that my mind is broken is that it went "a drowned one"
Evening-Tomatillo-47 t1_j91ew1f wrote
Any dog can stay underwater for the rest of their life
Consistent_Catch1532 t1_j91ekxg wrote
Dogfish
[deleted] t1_j91ebsu wrote
A_Beautiful_Brain t1_j91dmv2 wrote
A snorkeldoodle
wowihaveanopinion t1_j91dj4i wrote
Different-Tie-1085 t1_j91d0f8 wrote
Reply to comment by Snoo-97916 in What kind of dog can stay underwater for a long time? by trimdaddyflex
Lols
Gorf_the_Magnificent t1_j92b4rl wrote
Reply to I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!" by madazzahatter
The joke is better if the child is the one who pulls it off on the adult.