Whoever made this should get his dick wringed

are you in IBDP by any chance? or just randomly read this book.

Lawyer and non-lawyer are walking along an empty beach and see a beautiful, naked woman, who looks to be unconscious but otherwise healthy. She has no clothes, no bag, no phone or keys, nothing at all.

Non-lawyer looks at Lawyer and says “do you want to screw her?” Lawyer looks back at him, puzzled. “Screw her? Out of what?”

Solid contender. I'll definitely keep it in mind when I finally decide on one :>

This helps. I pictured her standing there making buzzing sounds at the light.

Just saying “a blond and a lawyer” and assuming we all know the one identified by her appearance is the woman and one identified by his profession the man is sexiest. The rest of the joke is sexiest as well, obviously, but using blond as short-hand for dumb woman needs to be retired.

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Thankfully it's a pretty modular joke - you can add as many people of as many backgrounds as you want or need, and the punchline can still be the same. It can be super specific or very generic, especially since the idea his ass could get beaten for telling that joke can be displayed visually rather than through dialog.

I know someone who uses the same method, but then he uses the iron box to remove the wringles afterwards.

Try the helicopter.

okay I see you (☛´∀｀*)☛ I can imagine this as a longer-form comic, great joke!

I can't imagine myself attempting to illustrate this (>▽<) Did make me chuckle though, thank you!

"Your buns are so soft."

Can’t think of a clever reply, so I’ll have a cocktail, sit back, and wait.

...if you shake it more than twice, it means you're playing with it.

I don't get the joke, do people shake to dry?

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As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: "And get ME a coke...NOW!"

The flight attendant, flustered by the parrot's attitude, brings back a coke for the parrot. However, she forgets the coffee for the guy.

As the guy points this out, the parrot drains his glass and screams:

"Get me another coke or I'll really create a scene!"

Quite upset, the attendant comes back shaking, with another coke, but still no coffee.

Irritated at her forgetfulness, the man decides to try the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it right now, or I'll create a scene that will make HIS look like a Victorian tea party!"

The next moment, both the guy and the parrot are grabbed and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly security guards.

Hurtling towards earth, the parrot turns to him and says: "You're pretty cheeky for a guy who can't fly!"

r/bestofreddit

A blind man walks into a bar, takes a seat at the counter, and orders a drink.

A few sips in, he leads over to the person next to him and asks them "Hey, want to hear a blonde joke?"

Almost immediately, the entire bar goes silent, when the woman he asked clears her throat. "Before you tell that joke, friend, I think there's something you should probably know.

I'm a blonde, and I've played lacrosse for 6 years now. The fellow over there playing pool is a blonde, and he's a star quarterback. The bartender is a blonde, and he used to do MMA. The guy sitting to the other side of you is a blonde, and he's made it to the nationals in weight lifting. Half the people in this bar are blonde. So, buddy, let me ask you... do you really want to tell that joke?"

The man pauses, thinking it over for a second as he takes another sip of his drink. "Probably not, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

Repost, saw this exact joke posted yesterday.

Now my dick hurts

Last week, I went to see my doctor.

Doctor: Sir, I don't know how to tell you this, but you've got to stop masturbating.

Me: Why?

Doctor: So I can examine you!

That is possibly the most interesting thing I've read on Reddit.

Thank you for sharing your knowledge and informing us all.

P.S I struggled through the CYK bits because my teachers taught me wrong and my internal bias always tells me "Those words aren't even colours"! 😉🤣

Clement Freud did a good dead pan rendition of this joke.