Recent comments in /f/Jokes

DevilsDadkc t1_j6f7tf5 wrote

Reply to A blond and a lawyer are flying to Cleveland by hoosyourdaddyo

This had a different ending when I heard it. The blonde asks the lawyer what is purple and has 8 legs and a horn on it's ass? The lawyer has no idea and hands her 500 dollars. The lawyer asks the blonde what IS purple with 8 legs and a horn on it's ass? The blonde hands him 5 dollars and goes back to sleep.

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Key-Process-1778 t1_j6f7f84 wrote

Reply to comment by Macca49 in It was the 117th birthday of the oldest man in the country, so a reporter went to interview him. by Doblepos

When the reporter went to interview the old man's dad the next weekend, the old guy told them to make it quick because he was going to his dad's wedding. The reporter asked him, "why a man of his dad's advanced age would want to get married?" He replied, "who said he 'wanted' to get married?"

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mattyturner t1_j6f6dzx wrote

Reply to A guy walks into a bar... by unselfishdata

A man walks into a bar and asks for nine shots of Vodka. The barman pours them and asks ‟what’s the occasion?”

‟My first ever blowjob!” Came the reply.

‟Well then! Ill buy you one aswell!” Said the barman.

‟If nine shots does not get the taste out of my mouth，I dont think ten will either”

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EternityOnDemand t1_j6f58o2 wrote

Reply to comment by Sonabaybeach in Wayne Gretzky is going down on his wife, she cums all over his face and says messy eh? by Soleserious

You're not that good at jokes, are you. Let me get out the crayons for you:

  1. She doesn't mIsTaKe hEr CuM foR bEiNg oN tHe FacE of MarK MesSiEr
  2. She came on Gretzky's face and said "Messy, eh?"
  3. Gretzky is the one that made the mistake of assuming she thought Gretzky was actually Mark Messier going down on her when she said "Messy, eh?"
  4. Hence Gretzky responding saying, 'no, it's me Wayne... [not Messier]'........ 🤦‍♂️
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