This boomer joke can be easily turned into a modern one. Just add this line:
"I want to play every single game in my Steam library"

[removed]

Jack must have an excelent shiter

Ha ha ha

U have to turn it into a habit. Ar first it's difficult, but me for exemple, every morning I wake up, have my coffee, meditate, exorcise a random young girl, have a French croissant au Chocolat and go to work

jack must be an excellent shitter

My Dad cut a tree down from the back yard, brought it into the house and dressed it up with lots of dangling earrings and a long scarf, he then put a bunch of lights on the roof and hung our sox by the fireplace, now he's making us learn these songs we are supposed to sing in the neighbors lawn...

Now I’ll accept that

Yeah, this joke is Bad. Not even a hee-hee here

[deleted]

Your disrespect couldn't be timed any better. This weekend marks the anniversary of the freeing of Auschwitz-Birkenau. Perhaps you should visit a concentration camp and test out the rest of your antisemitic humor. Or is you prefer China has a few, as well, you can watch their Muslim slaves make NBA, Disney, & Apple, products.

You got that right!

Really!? That would be awesome

He was charged in a chord with the law

So you're saying it should be whipped out at all times when I'm at a bar trying to get lucky?

Apparently he was found with A minor.

I heard they threw away the keys.

Looks like the Swedish government is finally getting its act together, with a little help from IKEA's flat-pack politics and the boss's expertise in assembly. Let's just hope they don't need any Allen keys to fix the economy.

He was placed under a rest

Hopefully the charge isn’t major. .

woman bad

Who ate your mom then?

Don't know about that - it isn't far from a music-hall "take my wife..." joke.

I went on this blind date once.

I just couldn’t see dating her again after that.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They’d just arrest the bulb for being broke, and beat the living shit out of the room for being dark.