Yes.

I definitely understand how the use of x doesn't fit the English language and frankly that is the point. The word isn't perfect and isn't as inclusive as we'd like it to be (thinking of non-binary persons here) and as you can see in the NYT article I'm linking, there isn't 100% support for the word in the feminist community either. Much like everything, there are poles to each continuum.

I will note the use of the x not new and has been used as early as the 1970s (that we are aware of at this point). The original goal here is to take the role of MAN out of our lives and this issue is central to the childfree community.

Many of the pressures to reproduce (in addition to those who do feel that biologically--which isn't universal), the patriarchal society has set up a road map for young girls to become mothers with very little deviation. This includes teaching girls caregiving skills as children (dolls, easy bake ovens, fake cleaning supplies) and often asked about marriage and kids plans long before the have a fully formed frontal lobe.

I can appreciate how it is different, heck I don't use it all the time because I was raised for 30+ years to use an A. It's a process for progress.

Here are some resources for you to better understand the use and purpose of the word even it if isn't pronounceable with the x (although you do just use the A pronunciation).

Time line of the use X
NYT

Absolutely, it was well-intentioned from the start, but what 95% of mental health unconsciously does is to place the problem "within" the individual, as a 'psychological' failure, as opposed to a social problem (although we all recognise the need for support). Death is part of life, but the elderly man whose wife dies suffers to the point of being unable to cope nine times out of ten because he struggles to find a sufficient network of relations around him that help him through it, and substituting warm, caring personal relationships with professional support doesn't really cut it. We are increasingly socially isolated thanks to the needs of capital (we have to move to where the work/education is, and isolation in retirement is very common).

The main concern of State is profit in late stage capitalism (to keep the corporate sponsors of political parties happy), hence, get the patient back to work a.s.a.p. This does not have to descend into some kind of bleak Marxist diatribe against capitalism, it is merely an accurate critique of how it works and that financial profit is its most determining factor. To place the problem "within" the individual is to obfuscate the underlying socio-economic factors. If we were to confront those properly, it would threaten the interests of capital.

Oh my YES they do! And sometimes the questions aren't that nice or even meant to be a question more than a dig/judgement.

Like most things that are difficult, I tell my clients to start with the easy wins. Tell your pets, the furniture in your house, your dashboard. Feel what it is like to say it out loud. And when I say feel..I mean FEEL it. Feel your voice--is it shaking? Feel your belly--is it queasy? Feel your chest--is it tight? When these signs of fear and self doubt begin to dissipate then tell your friends who you KNOW will give you a high five not a lecture.

And build on that. Eventually telling people that you're unsure of -- this can be family/friends or the public. Depending on your situation one might be more easy navigate.

The most important thing to remember--YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION. Many people believe we have to explain why we do what we do with our lives. This is fundamentally not true. NO IS A FULL SENTENCE. So is, "I am choosing not to have children." You don't have to say more.

I mean, CBT wasn't developed as a quick fix solution though right? Could you elaborate more on that, with state and insurance?

Thoughts on ECT vs KETAMINE vs psylocybin?

Edit: in regards to depression, anxiety and PTSD treatment modalities.

Hi, I work with CBT and folks who are neurodivergent. Lots of folks need more than ‘just CBT’. Even within CBT, a focus beyond thought changing can be helpful. It is Cognitive behavioral therapy. Some folks do better with an approach from behavior— doing over thinking.

Suggest making sure this is not a health problem.

Is there a comedy that teen likes? Images from crabby burger (sponge Bob), etc. while food is not preferred, even use of food with humor. It’s not Bob’s…or food with intent. Tell me how it’s not Bob’s. And engage in a process of recreating Bob’s or making their own better Bob’s.

Indoctrination. As mental health falls under the profit directives of capitalism, despite the goodwill of individuals (and most are well intentioned in the healthcare industry), the priority is always to get the person "back to work" as the main metric of success. CBT was considered a quick fix solution that satisfied the immediate financial interests of the state and the insurance companies. In the NHS in the UK, this problem has come to light recently, whether or not it stays in the light is another matter.

Exposure therapy, then.

Oh this is a really great question and one with a few layers to it. If you haven't noticed from other answers I've given--I'm a bit verbose.

I often start working with people who are in this space from a place far from the "to kid or not to kid" perspective. Kids are not things or just another check box on the list of "how to adult." Which is often where I see the breakdown in understanding the childfree. But I digress.

When working through this question, we start with helping clients inside my Unapologetically Childfree Collective identify and prioritize their values. Meaning, what is important to you. Not simply "family, happiness, etc." Instead, getting deep into seeing where things like "adventure, simplicity, creativity, intellectual stimulation, kindness, caring, teaching, inner peace, friendships, etc." rank in your life.

In doing this, you'll have a better idea of "who you are" and what you really want in your life.

The next step is to identify and work through any of the things you believe about yourself, your life, the should/supposed to-s, that don't fit into the values you hold.

Third step is taking that information and create a "map" of how to not only create but also live the life you want on your terms. This may or may not include children. You won't know until you do a bit of self reflection.

When you do decide, the decision is full of confidence and joy that even on the hard days of being childfree (or a mother) you know you chose what what best for you at the time given ALL the information you had at that moment.

Why is this being downvoted to hell? Are people downvoting because there's something wrong with your "evidence" or do they just not agree that it treats symptoms not causes.

Hey I'm happy any time something works for someone. CBT was really useful to me too but it couldn't make a dent in my depression so. I've come to realize this isn't a psychological issue at all it's chemical/biological.

I think I was someone who never really spiraled from mental illness and was naturally good at not making it worse. I guess that has always been a blessing. But it doesn't mean the curse has gone away

Hey u/LCSW-Therapy445, Thanks. I am happy to hear my energy for this work is showing through. The work with womxn who are childfree or childless is so much more important than many think about because society expects womxn to procreate-even eventually.

Anyway--that's another soap box. To your question, it can be difficult to find like minded adult friends in general. There brilliant minds researching this topic alone and finding that one of the biggest keys to reducing loneliness and maintaining adult friends is the TIME you put into the friendship --not the time you've known someone. So in terms of childfree, when we find friends who don't have kids and aren't going to have kids then both people have more TIME (in theory) to spend with each other. This doesn't have be in person. It's the texts, the phone calls, the face times, etc.

So when you know this, it is easier to begin seeing social gatherings and opportunities to meet new people not from a place of "must make friends NOW, lol" but instead from a place of "who do I really have something in common with ?" "who do I want to spend more TIME with?" Often when we meet in social gatherings the discussion is focused "superficially" on work, partners, homes, kids, pets.

This is less true (not a rule more generalization) with childfree people as we are able and prioritizing things outside of that. When you seek out those who are looking for personal growth while engaging in life then you have a great person to start hanging out with.

There are also online communities including here on REDDIT just for the childfree and childless. If you're more shy like me these might be a good place to start. If you're more outgoing -- start a meetup in your area! There are more of us than you think!

That's right. Something shifts inside once we have to endure or experience those types of realities. The shifts will be different for everyone, how we respond will be different.

Why jump around with the different designations for females? You said "Womxn", "woman" and "women" and referred to mothers, then you referred to "childless people".

Oh, this is such a great question! I'm curious to hear the answer to this too.

Yes, accepting certain realities is not easy. Why should we have to accept realities that are wrong or evil in this world. Those realities simply carry more weight for some than others, whether they accept them or not

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I love what you're saying about not having the label be the end goal. I agree that it's super important for people to build that foundation for their life and how THEY choose to live it.

For more AMAs on this topic, subscribe to r/IAmA_Health, and check out our other topic-specific AMA subreddits here.

Hi u/DrMorganLevy! Thank you for the question and one I am sure to get a few times--I know I get it IRL.

As a professional counselor by training and following a very typical path for someone in their mid-thirties, I eventually made it to private practice specializing in supporting high-achieving womxn with anxiety. I spent years learning about and diving deeper into the the unique aspects of self-doubt, feeling out of control, external pressures, stick-ness, isolation/loneliness, and so much more.

Throughout this time of learning and growing within my counseling practice I realized that had completely forgotten to "bring myself into the equation," if you will. I too had spent a good portion of my early adulthood feelings these things until I had worked through it on my own, with my therapist, and through finding like minded friends.

When I allowed myself to see my journey and how that did or didn't line up with the research (at the time) on friendship, fulfillment, "purpose", and overall satisfaction the specialization became a no-brainer -- which is funny because it took a ton of brain power/hours to get there. HAHA

I have known I didn't want kids since I was 20. My parents, friends, even my doctors were unsupportive, judgmental, rude, and/or dismissive. These reactions to someone's personal choice on what to do with their life wasn't unique to me and it continues today.

Such reactions contribute heavily to the loneliness/isolation, sadness, anxiety, dissatisfaction, guilt, shame, fear, etc that plague womxn who aren't living a life free to live on their terms.

This is why it was so important for me to, again, further niche my specialization to focus on supporting these womxn in way that isn't lumping their childfree-ness into a general demographic answer but instead realizing the person beneath the responses to external pressures and societal expectations.

For me, it comes down to representation and allowing people to use a clear definer of themselves and their lives as a foundation of how they build their life. Not that the label is in itself the definition and end goal.

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Why do you lead with and specialize in child free? Do you find that the challenges by people choosing (or chosen for) this lifestyle are that unique or require such special attention? If so, please elaborate on the specific challenges or themes you find!

Being a millennial from California, I never witnessed (or experienced) pressure to procreate until I moved to the Southeastern United States. I'm also interested in any patterns you've found e.g regional differences or personality traits of people struggling with their child free journey; if you're willing to share.