It sounds like your parents are looking for reasons to kick you out. Housing insecurity is a huge stress which can damage your health and shorten your life.

That's a hell of a lot of pressure. If you don't mind my asking, what type of meds are you taking? Some of them can be superfluous and causing your problems. I know two people on Adderall who turned into fucking monsters, and had no memory of how scary they got. When they got off that shit, they became normal, sane human beings again.

Some "therapists" are simply in it for the money and hand out pills like fucking candy. Mind you, if you're talking about something like Serotonin reuptake inhibiters, that's a whole different ball of wax, and suddenly not taking them can make you quite dead.

If I were in your situation, I would set up a gameplan for getting my own place within a reasonable timeframe, and discuss it with my parents. Don't take shitty jobs you'll hate the rest of your life though. Get work that affords you a reasonable amount of self esteem.

Healthy food, regular exercise and adequate sleep can do amazing things for your mental well-being too, by the way.

I think hard asses are an absolute necessity to have around. It's good to occasionally hear the things that people who would kill you with kindness wouldn't say.

I don't really watch TV and when I listen to music I daydream, which makes me lose focus on exercising . Plus, tbh, I just don't enjoy it. It's alright as a group activity (I never really minded gym class), but solo is pretty bleh.

Edit: that sounds more belligerent than I intended. It is good advice for most people.

spending a third of my cash to grow devices every month and with my brothers help

I have a setup that can make grass for $5000 every 4 months

then do something fun while you exercise

And sometimes it lurches you just far enough forward to fall face-first into mud, struggling to get your feet back under you.

[I also had parents who believed I was making excuses about my mental health. They gave me the choice of attending (a highly-competitive & brutally expensive) uni right away, or never. The impact of that crash-and-burn lasted literal decades. Right before the pandemic I was finally prescribed meds that work for me. Since then, I've literally had family members remark on the difference and apologize for not recognizing how debilitating my issues were.]

Op I’ve been in your same shoes for the past two years almost. Had a sickness in the family and shit just totaled the whole situation. Thought about ending shit so many fuckin times. Scared shitless too. You just can’t give up OP I got out of my rut with very very hard work (12-15 hour days, 6 days a week, 7 when I could) and I still ain’t in a very comfortable position. One bad hit and I’m back to mandated 7 day work weeks. You gotta keep fighting bro hold on to the people you got and be straight with them and tell them they need to understand you gonna have to make shit happen and they need to try and support that plan. I will tell you one thing tho OP - and I don’t know if it’s gonna provide solace, but many, MANY Americans are livin through the same shit you and I am. Some to a lesser extent but many in the same if not worse shoes.

Don’t hold back, purchase the largest dry erase board you can find. Write it all down, there’s nothing better than checking off a task you identified and completed (with proof).

Try adding to your notebook in 24 days : talk to mom and dad about my progress.

A follow up check in at the half way showing them you're moving forward might mitigate some of the consequences- release some of the pressure on you.

Even if not, it will be good to show them. :)

Good luck OP. You got this.

👏👏👏🤌🏽 #challangeaccepted

Get the audiobook Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins to help you with mindset

You will be surprised what a profound impact forcing yourself to make your bed every morning makes in pulling your shit together

This isn't a substitute for a paper journal, but in terms of helping my mood, I found the "Finch" app to be pretty good. Being able to vent within the app, and get encouragement, is really helpful.

If you're procrastinating about something on your list that's fine do something else on your list instead of letting yourself do something meaningless... once you have crossed off enough things it won't seem so intimidating

Yoga breathing and meditation 10 minutes a day

I like who I am, why would I want to change that?

Going off this, I also use a similar strategy. Every morning, I wake up and I write down everything I want to accomplish for the day. I really hold myself accountable to this also and it worked for me but shit ain’t gonna be easy man. You gotta want it. Once you complete that task, make sure to check it off. By the end of the day when everything is checked off, you’ll feel accomplished! Keep me updated man and let me know if you have any questions!

It also gives you little dopamine hits to cross stuff off the list, even if it’s small stuff. Just the check mark or cross out has an effect and can be motivating to do the next small thing and then the next.

Don’t be scared. Millions before you felt the same way. But they did nothing and ended up with shit lives.

You’re already making progress and you’ve still got 7 weeks to make even more!

Relax, be confident in yourself, and be honest with your family. It sounds like they care about you, and even this isn’t the best thing they could have done, it has given you the motivation to move forward with your life.

It is going to be a struggle. Trust. I love my parents. But my mom did everything for me. Even as an adult she would come and wash dishes and help me clean up. Now she’s gone and Im doing everything. It’s crazy different. Im raising my kid to be more independent than I was.

I hope in these 48 days you gain some good long lasting habits.

It takes 28 days to form a habit. So just focus on consistency. You will be okay. I promise.

If you were my kid I would do the same. A Push and reality check is what some kids need.

Good Luck!!

you absolutely have the right to not go to the gym

Check. Lists. Checklists. They are your friend and a great prioritizer. Microsoft To-Do is highly functional and simple and cross platform (pc-android), and for Android, 7Zipper app has the best simplest to-do widget I've seen so far

You can do this!!! ✊

I had a similar challenge. I used to workout all the time, 5 days a week at least. I’d do 100 push ups a day, 10+ minute abs, and run at least a 5k Monday-Friday. I was eating super healthy and I was in the best shape I’d been in. Then I got mono as a 30 year old man and I basically had to stop doing my workout for a year and a half. It hit me bad.

The most difficult part was reframing my mind and learning to cut myself some slack and do less difficult workouts. I’m talking things I wouldn’t have even considered a workout a year earlier. There was a point where all I could do was try to just get 10,000 steps a day. If I did, often I’d be exhausted. And if I didn’t, I had to tell myself it was ok bc I wasn’t who I was a year ok, and that’s ok. I continued to eat healthy and make sure I could do what I could.

Are you able to manage 10,000 steps a day? And if not, 9,000? If not, 8,000? Etc. Even 500 steps a day and eating healthy, consistently, is much better than if you’re only doing 400 a day, or 500 a day with eating poorly.

Good luck friend :)

If you need an accountability buddy, PM me too.