A breakup of this magnitude is akin to the grief of losing a spouse. That’s not a hot take to share with friends but it is one to share with yourself in terms of the level of empathy and grace you give yourself. This shit is hard and that’s ok. There would be something wrong with you if it wasn’t hard.

As for what you can do, build the future. That’s the way through this. Space for grief and then space for healing. This just happened. You’re not ready to build anything new yet. You’ll know when you are.

Focus right now should be getting through it and self care for you and parenting for your son. Do not skip self care right now. You need it more than ever and so does your child. You got this. ❤️

Every breakup helps to define what you don’t want in a person and can act as a roadmap to what you DO want.

I thought that was a baked potato

Do you view all things in this oddly binary fashion, or can you make value judgments in smaller increments of quality?

It sounds like my life. A few years ago I started to feel like you. But I got a few more hobbies and got over it. I just had my stupid yearly review at work. What are my professional goals this year? None. I’m 46. I worked my ass off in my 30s. I’ve been there 16 years. If I wanted to be the boss I would be. If I had any more goals I would have met them by now. I’m a nurse at the top of the pay scale. I have enough seniority to self schedule. I’m union and my overtime pay is ridiculously good. Other than reading a few journals every month I do not think about work at all when I am not there. I own my house, my car and my boat. My daughter is in college and I can afford it. I have 8 chickens and a dog. My husband is nice.
Here’s my goals: paint the living room. Get bees. Make a purple and orange quilt. Finish the laundry.

[deleted]

Yeah, I know the pain definitely. I have been rejected by the world and my own family eventually abandoned me. I take the blame really, I'm aware people simply don't like looking at me and hate me. I know for sure I'm mostly alone in this world. The only thing that keeps me going though is The Father, Jesus Christ, The Holy Ghost. I didn't have any motivation, I didn't know what to do with my life. I didn't have a future or what I wanted to be when I grew up. Everything was simply blank in my mind and I couldn't come up with anything besides wanting to become a bright shining colorful Christmas tree, of course, everyone laughed and mocked me in school, that was when I was at least 7 years old. Yeah, I don't know what to do, besides being homeless. I guess, it's hard for me to smile and even if I do, I end up disgusting people. I'm not ugly but I'm not handsome neither, so I don't know. I'm 25 now, and I'm trying to get back on my feet. It hurts in my heart but I trust in Jesus. I'm trying to keep my faith in Him and I'm hoping that He will show me the way. I'm still struggling but I'm trying to stay positive and I'm praying every day that I will find the strength to keep going.

https://preview.redd.it/i17zw6n61lja1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=7077950aa640e16606637875dbb305ec39ff6295

After walking for a few minutes on the sidewalk with all my stuff on my back and front, I was simply thinking about my loneiness. That's when I stopped in my tracks and looked up and noticed a Rainbow Halo in the sky, I know my Father is remining me of his Faithfulness and Love for me, I gotta keep trying.

That math makes no sense

I'm finishing up uni now, i'll have entered my tenth year by the date at which I'll have to defend my thesis.

Lost 2 family members in the space of 4 months. Actually 1 died less than 24 hours after we heard the other wasn't gonna make it.

5 years of bloody depression and fruitlessly trying to continue my studies, 3 rounds of therapy and a few years of being a "ghost student"

Now finally rounding it up

If the other guy was at the very end of his Bachelor's degree, and was getting tutoring for the very last course he still needed to pass, I think it just about works out? Bachelor's -> PhD -> adjunct professor is something you can just about manage in 8 years, I think.

Correct me if I’m wrong but don’t narcissists suffer too? Don’t narcissists have just as much of a place here as anyone else, or are they unworthy of motivation?

The stories the media never pays attention to. A white officer helping and saving the life of a black man! Horrible news, right!! Sarcasm heavy…..there’s good and bad in us all but when all we see and hear all day is the bad/negative then in becomes the narrative of how the majority think it is. My wording is remedial but this is proven psychological facts. I love this story and remember it well. Thanks for posting.

Just like to use this copaganda opportunity to point out the norm when cops respond to mental health crises....

People with untreated mental illness are 16 times more likely to be killed by law enforcement

[removed]

1. You’re not stupid
2. There are no bad decisions, there are only learning opportunities
3. You’ll be ok

#moreofthisgoodshit

Yeah I'm 30, nearly 31 into my second term of college. I feel this exact same way. But also I'm super fucking proud of myself for finally taking the initiative to better myself and find a career I love as a disabled human being. I have so many fears and anxieties about what's to come after I graduate because I am entering a pretty competitive field. But I've made it this far and I'm absolutely acing my courses. That's definitely worth something :)

Good perspective to have on it

Agree

[deleted]

I uh.

Needed this one.

One stupid, immaterial setback of work I wanted to do making miss out on a social thing I've been planning to go to for months and BAM ya boys in the pits.

Life is hard. It's harder if you're stupid.

Just smoke and drink. Most my friends who drank themselves to death didn't make it past 35.

Sometimes you make bad decisions because you are stupid.

I went back to school in my mid 30s. Information Technology. I was really worried about competing with younger fresh out of high school students. Turns out most of them didn't have a particular interest in I.T. and just chose it for reasons. I on the other hand had spent my time since high school as a computer nerd building test test labs and experimenting for fun.