Any dispatcher can tell you when an officer arrived on scene and when they left. Thats probably the time they used.

Climbing the rail on any high bridge is also a quick way to get a put on 5150 psychiatric hold for 72 hours. Getting involuntarily committed twice or more makes the patient a candidate for permanent disability. I'm not saying that is what happened in this case. Just saying that sometimes the sad story is part of a hustle if that makes any sense. Learned about all that while getting treatment myself.

92 minutes is pretty accurate, did they start a timer when they started talking?

I was just referring to exploring options outside of immediate friends and family. We live in a society of rules. Sometimes we think the rules are against us and assume there are fewer options than what is available. Maybe asking the boss for a raise. Maybe applying for another job that you thought you were not qualified for. Etc.

That raise may give you some breathing room. That breathing room may change your perspective.

"The view from halfway down"

I do agree, but do you have/use any good reference/summary/bullet points for key principles/value concepts? (i barely can finish reading a paragraph, not mentioning a book). One one hand I would say exercise, eat healthy, stay positive, stay organized, have goals, on the other hand life is irrational :). What helped you the most?

I've lost a couple of persons close to me due to suicide. Still not fully recovered from it, years later. It affects so many more people around. The total cost for the society is so much higher than just the person that commits suicide. Really don't get how it can't be a more prioritised subject where I live.

Politicians are talking about more road safety when it dies a lot more people due to suicide every year than in car accidents.

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I agree. I was in a shithole of life until December where I got some opportunities (luck) and that motivated me the fuck out to get out of shithole. But now after 2 months I'm altogether in a different hole (my job paused my full time hiring ) and now I'm just sad (proximity ) cause I was dependent on them for my bills and shit man.

What kind of paperwork do you have in mind?

With respect to "adversity", it is neither. Proximity and luck play bigger roles.

Proximity refers to the people, paperwork and experiences you have immediately available to you. Luck is just luck. The level of confidence you have in the pieces available motivates you to push forward. That is the reality for the average person.

Many "motivation" stories are mixtures of proximity and (lots) of luck. These stories then get retconned as some heroic, self-driving motivational epic. For some people, the recon can be very intimidating and even demotivating.

I went through a divorce, of a nine year relationship. I gave her the divorce, because I didn’t want to add additional emotion to a situation that was clear, the clarity was that she did not want to be with me. She had an affair, and I wanted to continue working on it, but she claimed she didn’t have the energy to continue. Aside from feeling like I was dying, physically, and mentally, I did have some thoughts of suicide. I got mostly past it, but still some lingering pain.

Here are the things that got me by:

1. time will ultimately help heal, but it’s not the only thing that will heal the pain. You need to do the work required to learn from the situation. As you learn from the situation, you’ll actually pick up some useful tools, and you’ll have the realization of those tools, and how you can apply them to all relationships in life. Those tools are invaluable, and that will make you happy.

2. ask for help. One of the things that was helpful, was to have someone present and witnessing my pain, and witnessing me crying, and constantly telling me that “it will be OK, this will pass”. You can’t go through it alone, mainly because bitterness and resentfulness will creep in and rob you of your joy for longer than it needs to. Have a strong and positive circle of people. People who start degrading or trash talking your ex, although might feel good, will increase hate in your heart. It has the possibility of making you vengeful, which is allowing the situation to take your heart. You are too good to let that happen, even if the breakup feels like it’s your fault. Don’t let hate or vengefulness creep in.

3. self reflection is Paramont. However, self reflection isn’t so you can blame yourself endlessly. That is not the point. If you self reflect on what you did wrong in the relationship, because both parties have a role in the relationship, it will teach you what you can do right for future relationships. It can also teach you how to look for red flags, not red flags in the person, but red flags in a sense of questioning whether you should go into a relationship with a specific individual. Although I loved my ex wife so much, I started to realize many red flags of the relationship through self reflection. self reflection can also serve to learn how to communicate with various types of personality and human beings.

4. learn to take care of yourself. Being out in nature, going for walks, staring at the beach while the waves crash, a simple coffee on your deck…..if you take care of yourself in the simplest ways, simple pleasures start showing you how beautiful life is. You can go work out, but that will only bring in so much balance. Learn to sit in your pain and let the pain go through your body, and after it goes through, and after you cry, go do something simple that gives you simple joy. I found that when I did some thing that was too joyful, like bungee jumping or going on a vacation with the guys, it filled me up with a lot of joy, and a lot of instant happiness at the time, but when I got back to reality, it came crashing down pretty hard. Simple joys of life, help me stay a little more stable and balanced while I healed.

5. understand vulnerability is not weakness, it’s actually a strength. Sharing how deeply you are injured emotionally because of the break up helps other in pain open up too. We all feel like we have to demonstrate we have it together and that we are tough, but everyone carries life’s weight. Helping other through pain sharing helping will bring you a nice, unique and helpful way of seeing a purpose in all of this mess.

At least this is what helped me. I hope it helps you.

I wish these conversations were recorded. It would help a lot of people going through the same things to hear what was said that was obviously effective

I remember a video a while back that what sounded like a teenage kid had cut something on himself to cause profuse bleeding. He was recording and stumbling around saying he changed his mind, he didn't want to die. Didn't watch to the end, but heartbreaking as from the amount of blood on the floor he was assured to die.

Time will help heal. this is said all the time but i think it’s true. find things you enjoy doing. i recently started playing chess (how silly) but it’s honestly so fun and it almost turns my mind off. good luck and best regards

It's been 38 years and I'm still in the same place

I've tried jobs and been successful just for life to change and mess me over

This picture is a lie

Will never get out of this hole

You are right in a way, how can anyone claim to know for others any kind of understanding? Because you only truly know things from your own perspective. I see the philosophical problem you're saying.

But I suppose in a way that is also what I am saying. It's more of a gist of Taoism's "those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know."

The Socrates quote I posted above still echoes that: "the only thing I know is that I don't know."

It's all about a certain kind of humbleness, to admit you don't know anything. But you're getting upset because in order to say that you are being contradictory? The message still comes across without being philosophically anal.

This quote from Terence McKenna puts the point of my OP best:

"We all need to try to understand what is happening. We need to try to understand what is happening, and in my humble opinion, ideology is only going to get in your way. Nobody understands what is happening, not Buddhists, not Christians, not government scientists... no one understands what is happening. So forget ideology. They betray. They limit. They lead astray.

Nobody is smarter than you are. And what if they are? What good is their understanding doing you? People who walk around saying, ‘Well, I don’t understand quantum physics, but somewhere, somebody understands it.’. That’s not a very helpful attitude toward preserving the insights of quantum physics.

Just deal with the raw data, and trust yourself. Inform yourself.

What does “inform yourself” mean? It means transcend and mistrust ideology. Go for direct experience. What do you think when you face the waterfall? What do you think when you have sex? What do you think when you take psilocybin? Everything else is unconfirmable rumor, useless, probably lies. So liberate yourself from the illusion of culture. Take responsibility for what you think and what you do."

So focus on your own Rubik's cube. Be wary of anyone who claims to say they have theirs figured out. Direct experience is all that matters and everything is subjective. Everything can be contradictory in analytic philosophy.

The only thing that should matter to you is if you are satisfied with your own Rubik's cube. Forget what I said about how nobody can claim to have theirs solved. The whole point of my message is that their cubes don't ever matter to you.

I stole this from a show but it helps me every time I deal with any sort of seemingly unconquerable loss.

“Everyday it will be the first thing you think about. Until one day it won’t be.”

Acknowledge it’s happening and it sucks, but understand it will get better.

I cried the first time I watched it, and then cried the second time I watched it when it started. Some of it was fixable, but some of them were failed by the societal system and not because of motivation or friends. Sometimes people are just sick, and they need help, and the day to day combined with lack of access to affordable mental health plus the stigma of being mentally unwell…the jumpers’ pain caused pain for those that knew them, but I really respected how honest about their grief and yet still caring those people were.

I guess my point is, yeah, there’s some great points about all of life’s problems being solvable on the way down, for the guy that did survive. But suicide for a lot of people doesn’t feel like wanting to die. There was an author that wrote about people jumping from the towers at 9/11, and it wasn’t that they wanted to die, but they were more afraid of the fire than of what was out the window. Jumpers don’t always want to die, but being where they are is so inescapable that death is less scary, even a painful one.

But again, that’s why we need better mental health advocacy and better pay for those that work in the field, and less punishment for people that feel any sort of feelings in the job force.

“The Bridge.” It’s the most moving documentary I’ve ever watched.

This photo is heart-wrenching. For those unfamiliar with the GG Bridge, the lower ledge where that young man is standing is literally the jump off point. The only thing separating him from the ocean is the grip of his right hand on the metal in front of him.

Okay, but how do I never?

Exercise and getting healthy food and sleep helps so much! Practicing gratitude and taking time to heal as well. You are worthy of love and you got this :)

One that values quality of life over discretionary spending. You have an inheritance to live on but not a couple hundred bucks for insurance? You can’t figure out how to find a therapist or a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD? You can’t reach out to social services to ask for mental health resources in your area? Are you five..?

If you’ve ever been in a college town, they get up to some stupid shit in there and I don’t mean drugs. Try to pee doing a handstand. Try to pee with someone else doing the hands from behind. Everyone trying to pee with no hands while singing. And that’s the light stuff