Learning about the chemical systems in our brains helped me a lot, learning about how to maximize dopamine and not become a slave to it. Which it sounds a bit like that’s what’s happening for you, the dopamine has killed your motivation. Getting off the games and other damaging sources of dopamine is a great start, dopamine is supposed to come from things you want to get done, it’s supposed to be released while you’re working towards something. But instead it’s just getting flooded from video games and leaves you empty handed, it’s supposed to lead you to an accomplishment and then you get serotonin and oxytocin! Learning more about it really changed how I look at life and motivation, and I’d also look into pathological demand avoidance if I was you. It is typically a trait in autism but it causes severe problems with working and knowing what to do with life and I have it, and you sound like me lol. Undecided, unmotivated, hating the whole system behind jobs and being too aware of being undervalued to where you can’t do it. I’ve actually switched to part time, 7 hours 4 days a week and I get wednesdays off in the middle so I don’t get too burnt out. It’s been super nice and I still make over 400 a week at a warehouse job, can’t really feel undervalued because I’m only there a fraction of what everyone else is so it’s fair to be valued less lol. But you’re doing good! You’ve had all these experiences met so many different people and learned a variety of skills, I definitely think the video games are your biggest enemy if you really want to change things tho!

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The only problem with this, is that typically the root system has about the same mass as the part above ground.

Why are disabled people, normal people's motivation

I thought that was his son...

It’s kinda gross to be inspired by a kid just existing as a disabled person? Like, her struggles are not your inspiration.

It’s amazing how far modern medicine has come. It’s amazing that her orthotics specialist fit a growing girl so well. It’s truly astounding that her care team harangued her insurance into purchasing a new prosthetic.

None of those are things she did. She’s just existing while disabled.

In a way, it's two references.

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Sucks that the best part of your life was in high school and when it ended so did your life.... Can’t believe your parents did not get your ass on gear..z. Oh what to do now.... Getting a job and get out of our house.... No one owes you anything...

To echo some other sentiments in here. At 31 it is time for you to take ownership of your mistakes and the situation you are in. Accountability will be key to your next step.

You say being a people person was just a coping mechanism when you were younger. Well guess what, in order to be a successful, functioning member of society you have to play to your strengths. If you’re good at connecting with people you should stick to that. What’s the worst that could happen? You make some new friends?

Maybe focus on a trade, grind under a contractor for a little bit, learn how to use some tools and some problem solving and technical aspect of the job and you’ll be ready. Don’t even waste your time/money on business school or classes.

A friend of mine had a full ride to uni, ended up partying too hard and spending his scholarship money on booze and coke. Ended up working in kitchens/restaurants then after 7 years he started working home renovations. It only took him a year to learn a lot and (because there’s a massive labor shortage in that field) just started working on his own. Dude makes $80/hr usd, has learned invaluable skills, has a house that he’s fixed up and made absolutely beautiful.

Essentially he would just do a before and after pic of the homes he worked on when he was an “apprentice” and post it to his IG. Those same friends of yours who are having kids and settling down will see that and be like, “hey bro can you do my kitchen/patio/front porch/bathroom etc.”

has a real Jesus-y vibe to it...aka. God is preparing you for great things....lol

This person is in Canada

Is OP too old for this?

Insurance: crutches are cheaper

No baby in history has ever fallen and said "well, I gave that a shot" and never tried again. That's a real valid point.

I don't usually respond or even read these, but your post sounds like me in my 20s. Tried a little bit of everything, nothing fit, nothing kept my interest. Horrible depression. Stopped showing up for jobs (had my own business cleaning houses for awhile and then just stopped showing up to all of them), stopped showing up for friends. Changed majors so many times, quit school in the middle of semesters, wasted so much money in student loans.

I had pretty bad undiagnosed ADHD, and I am not a doctor (but I did take a semester of Psychology like you did), but so much of your struggles sound like mine, maybe its worth looking into?

For me, just knowing there was a reason for my behavior and that I wasn't just a lazy waste of space was incredibly motivating and helpful for pulling myself out of that spot.

I even managed to finish college eventually! I still don't do great with staying at jobs but now I usually find a new one before I quit and it's usually a step up from where I was!

That "unsatisfied" feeling is still there but I can manage it better.

Good luck. This is a good first step. You know you're ready for a change and that's important!

The trades might be a great option too! My husband is an industrial electrician and it's just different enough every day to keep his interest. He's been teaching himself some programing so that he can fix the industrial machines too, and is considering some schooling for that. So he's still getting his "never ending need for something new" itch scratched and makes a good wage and decent benefits. Plus they pay you through schooling/apprenticeship so no more student loans!

lol those downvotes r/whoosh

I could not read all that. Way too wordy and all over the place. Don’t start sentences with So.

Being clear and succinct will benefit you a great deal in interviews.

Form a plan, get support from friends, build your network, treat yourself with compassion. People want to help.

Be coachable.

My path was not unlike yours… i goofed off and partied for years (many as a bartender) not really accomplishing much. Got a 2-year diploma that i had little interest in and I noticed my party pals were getting younger and my school peers had finished school (some of them 8 years of it) and having families… I spiralled into a dark and dangerous place. I did very little at all and felt like I was not accomplishing anything and that wore on me day after day, i felt I was at rock bottom.

I knew I liked being outside and wanted something that would be somewhat physical work to get me moving. I got a job at a large tree care company… very physical outside work. A lot of the folks i worked with were seasonal and didn’t give a shit, some of these folks were alcoholics / drug addicts which scared the shit out of me. Looking good to management took little effort because many of my co-workers were unable / unwilling show initiative or to think independently… this built my confidence and got me really thinking about the future.

After 2 years I knew I didn’t want to do this forever and I started taking college classes part time. I found a major that i loved and entered a university program full time after 4 years at the tree company. I was 30 then and I haven’t looked back.

Take aways: you have to change… not just want to change but actually change. It took me years of building good habits (and making mistakes), a little at a time, every day.

Its ok if you don’t know what you want, as long as you know what you don’t want. Try new things, give them a chance, try something else if its not for you.

My path may not be your path, but your path will take time and patience to get to a place that makes you feel really good about yourself, just like mine did. As you travel down this path, it may be hard to see in the beginning, but as time passes it gets clearer and other paths present themselves to you.

KI'mPossible??

To add some practical advice to this, go learn a trade like electrician or plumber. Get some skill you can get solid work from. You’ll be ok. No one is going to care about your history when they need a pipe leak fixed.

I second that you might have ADHD but dude how are you going to write this whole essay detailing every time you messed up an opportunity and end it with… “but I really feel like it was my parents fault”? I get that ADHD is a real thing (I’m a psychology major) and I get that it can make things difficult but you allowed things to snowball like this.

You need to start holding yourself accountable unless there is something you didn’t mention about your parents that really fucked you up in some way. Being a spoiled only child can for sure do some damage but come on guy, you’re in your thirties.

I’m sure I might get downvoted for this but I feel like you need a reality check and perhaps the worst thing your parents have done is not give you one. Take this from a woman in her 30’s that is the mother of an only child 12 year old boy. It has also been speculated by my therapist that I have ADHD but the diagnosis is expensive and I can’t get approved for testing through my insurance because Medicaid I guess. Still, I acknowledge that it might be a thing and I do the research and I see what I can do to accommodate my brain. It’s about taking something you have little control over and finding ways to work with it so that you can regain a sense of control to whatever capacity possible. A diagnosis is best used as a tool to figure out the best course of treatment, not as an excuse for everything wrong with your life (not that you did that here, just something to keep in mind if you are able to get diagnosed).

Please. Read your post a few times if you haven’t already and see how much you were responsible for your downfall. Also, see how much time you spend trying to justify why you messed up when you messed up or otherwise explaining away how you “kind of screwed that up”. Like no dude, you definitely screwed some stuff up along the way and that’s okay but you need to be real with yourself about the role you played in it. The thing about pushing all your mistakes off on other people or circumstances is that you take away your own sense of control and power over your life.

Stop giving other people so much power over your story. Like, why does it matter that your boss was into weird alien shit? You were there to do a job. Let bro go off on his alien shit and collect your paycheck. Stop spinning this narrative of “I had this and then I lost it because of this. I was doing this but then this got in the way” and just acknowledge that the past wasn’t ideal but now it’s time to pick yourself up and stop shooting yourself in the foot. It’s called accountability my dude.

Another thing I picked up on was this vague sense of entitlement. Like, I’m not saying you should take being treated like shit at a job but you also need to realize that entry level jobs are just that… entry level. You are highly disposable if you are doing a job that any odd guy off the street could do or would do. Think about it, how many college kids out there could dj and clean a gym? What do you even mean you were “undervalued”? Just do your job and get over yourself. Tough love there but sheesh.

Also on the job subject, stop expecting your job to not feel like a job and don’t go out there with the idea that you’re too good for the options you have. You have no trade skills on your resume and you’ve been unable to hold down a job for a year, you can’t be too choose-y. Somehow, you’ve even managed to make yourself feel like you’re too good for being a dj because they are so “narcissistic” even though this is probably not even a job that would be able to pay your bills. If you have the talent then maybe someday but self promotion takes a lot of work too and you should probably find something in the mean time. Get a job, and then figure out a career.

So yeah I didn’t plan on writing an essay but you asked what you needed to do so there is a run down.

Edit: I used the wrong “to”

Because you're normal.

I would start by loving and accepting yourself exactly how you are right now. Show gratitude to yourself for being so resilient. Forgive yourself for mistakes or things you now know could have done better. Focus on things you want to do and need to do.