Exactly. You aren't likely to make friends if you don't push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Well for me this time , with emphasis on ' this time' I've been sober 5 years. I have been in and out of double a meetings my whole life , it is a good program and helps a lot of people and also destroys a lot of families and does a lot of damage to people, in my opinion. So I'm not much to going to meetings right now but there have been many years of my life some sober , some not but going to meetings. Good place to find and meet women. The problem for me like I said 5 years this time , also 4 years , 2 years , and 2 years , 6 months afew times , a day and half a day. My point is the problem is not about stopping. The problem is 'staying stopped'. So for me this last go around 5 years ago I had liver failure and needed a transplant and then the reality sank in that if I drink the drink will shut my body down . Thats not what I want. I drank to have fun and enjoy life but drinking turned into the antithesis of a good life for me. So I am sober this time really for my life. So hope that helps some..

[removed]

That's probably a good approach yes. (Though obviously it would still help if I just go do things I enjoy in the first place so any outcome is secondary. But there's a bit of a conflict of interest there cause I don't really enjoy social interaction and all of my hobby's are quite solitary too)

As fun as some of those sound having been incapacitated for work for over a decade now I've pretty much given up on any 'big' dreams (or anything that involves money). Love would be nice but I feel I should first be able to be 100% happy on my own first because right now a love interest would probably become my hyperfocus which never is a good idea.
Though I guess there might be something here about how I do have things I want but for each dream there's immediately thoughts about how it's not realistic or the wrong thing to want..

No pain no gain.

As far as reeking of desperation, that can be fixed by practicing non attachment to outcome and focusing on the process.

So instead of telling yourself, I'm going to make a friend, you tell yourself I'm going to introduce myself to three groups of people, and if we vibe I'll exchange contact info and suggest we all hang out. They could completely ignore you, but you should consider that a success, and maybe even reward yourself for doing it.

Then you try a different approach, maybe work on your vibe, your style, your fitness, your grooming, or where you choose to go, then try again. But again the success is that you did the experiment, not weather it worked or not. Because either way you got new experiences and data, that will help you in the future.

Don't say that random dude in the comments. You're just too precocious that everybody thinks this price is a scam

Beat me by 7hours lol

I quit because I realized it added absolutely zero positive things to my life. Thirty years later I have never had a single drop. I've also never awakened with a hang over or regret from drinking. For me its been nothing but positive. Especially when I look at the cumulative effects that drinking has had on some of my friends that have chosen to keep at it. That in itself is a great motivator. I wish you all the best on your journey whatever you choose to do.

I was drinking for 21 years, and was an alcoholic for 20 of them(I’m 35 started when I was 12.5)When I quit drinking, I did it with the intention of drinking again. I know that sounds crazy but bare with me. I set a goal of 30 days, after which I told myself I could have a drink again. It was rough, my anxiety and depression, were spiking through the roof. I’m a naturally anxious and depressed person, I feel this is one of the reasons why I drank, but I pushed through those 30 days. It was rough, I realized how much I did with a drink in my hand, from walking my dog, shopping, and even working. After those 30 days I told myself I could have a drink or we can go for 90 days,I chose to go for 90 days. After those 90 days had passed, I told myself again you can have a drink or we can go big and go for a year. I chose to go for that year. It was still hard but at about 120 days it became easier. The urges started to lessen, my impulse to grab a beer, or take a shot to deal with my problems, or even to relax or enjoy myself, began to go away. Once I made it to a year, I told myself once again, you can have a drink or we can go for two years. I’ll be at two years of sobriety June 17, 2023. In this time the only habit I changed was drinking. I made sure I had money to buy booze, I made sure I had booze in my fridge, and I still went to bars to watch games or grab a bite to eat with my friends. I didn’t use therapy, AA meetings, or self-help books(if these help you please pursue them, they just weren’t for me, but they have helped millions of people find sobriety). I did this, because I wanted to ensure I was chasing true sobriety, not running away from alcohol, and fearing what it might do to me again. I stayed true to my resolve, and never faltered. Even if I did, I wouldn’t of been hard on myself, because that would only inure my drinking habit. It wasn’t easy at first, but after a while, the habit of not drinking, became just as familiar to me as a habit of drinking. I’m healthier mentally and physically. I’m more glad that I did it then I’m not. It’s not an easy road by any means, I wish I can say that it was. But the benefits of it, are far greater than the feeling that alcohol brings. It is something I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world.

I don’t know you personally, but making a post like this is a step most people don’t take. And it’s a step in the right direction. My best advice would be don’t replace alcohol with another habit, mostly, because once you fall out of that habit, you may fall back into the habit of drinking again. Just remove the habit of drinking from your daily routine,or your weekend routine. If you need to go to meetings, or seek therapy, or read self-help books, or even post on Reddit for advice, do that. It’s amazing what those things have done for people and can do for people. It’s not going to be easy. But I believe in you, and I feel that you can achieve your goal of either cutting back or cutting it out completely. I do truly hope that you reach your goal, I really do. I would love to hear an update, and see where you’re at with your sobriety. Best of luck, you have absolutely got this.

Sedatives, anti anxiety pills, anti depressants, Beta Blocker, Vitamins (specially D)

You are very kind. I agree, I wish everyone get proper help.

I love how so many people are cheering for me. I really appreciate it. Thanks a ton

Sedatives, anti anxiety pills, anti depressants, Beta Blocker, Vitamins (specially D)

Thank you! You are very kind.

I started with therapy and after a few sessions she realised that I needed meds. So referred to me a psychiatrist who started me on a course and that got me instant relief. I mean it changed my life. After that I found it easier to go through my daily routines, going to work and doing stuff that seemed impossible to me a while ago, the brain then took care of it itself and I am slowly decreasing my meds i take too.

Cheers!

I started with therapy and after a few sessions she realised that I needed meds. So referred to me a psychiatrist who started me on a course and that got me instant relief. I mean it changed my life. After that I found it easier to go through my daily routines, going to work and doing stuff that seemed impossible to me a while ago, the brain then took care of it itself and I am slowly decreasing my meds i take too.

You are likely to find how I speak insufferable as well. At least, in your current frame of mind.

Whatever it is that caused you to lash out at something so innocuous, I sincerely hope you’re able to put it behind you.

The irony here is that this is over a post about Stoicism. :]

i can help you.

let me walk you through it.

so to start off, ask yourself, why are you cutting alcohol?

Wait. I don’t have to pay people to hang out with me?

Giggidy.

Too many people are purple drink thinking they are a 1923 merlot.

At first non alcoholic beer and tomato juice was my jam, along with cbd supplements. Magnesium and ashwaganda (sp?) supplements helped as well.

What a lame quote