One last time it's me again. The common thread in everybody's comments is rehabilitation through knowledge of self.

I'll tell you when it comes to drinking you have to look at each time you accidently drink while quitting as simply a mistake and be ok with it. Because when I thought in absolutes I'd drink one time and sinse that ruined my streak I would drink hard every weekend for a long time before doing it again.

So you have to be ok with making mistakes. Which in all likelihood is half of the reason your drinking anyways. A life of mistakes adds up in your head and you run around with anxiety so you try to drink it away.

Anyways.. learning to tolerate your mistakes is the best thing to do.

And swap it out for less damaging things like video games or coffee or whatever works too.

It's all about the dopamine. Every mistake takes some away and booze makes it feel better. Gotta get a new source.

It's me again, and I want you to step outside of yourself and think about other people you think about who you're hurting or who you might be hurting that you don't even know who you're hurting maybe go up to a loved one don't say anything to them just hug it look them in the eyes and say I'm trying. I'm really trying to be patient with me. I don't want to hurt anybody just say that and see if you two motherfuckers don't tear up you gotta think about other people because everything you do affect somebody.

My advice would be to pursue therapy to help you examine the deeper motivations behind your drinking. I think a lot of time we use substances like weed or alcohol as an easy escape or way to relax, but it’s just a bandaid for the deeper issues causing us stress. I agree that a lot of the tool suggested here could be useful, but I think ultimately self examination and self work are the key. Best of luck my dude!

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Oh yes strictly herbal I can't tolerate any PM caffeine. It's just cool to me because I used to truly disdain tea...now it's a nice comfort.

You could also start with r/stoicism

Hey I’m someone who successfully cut down from seriously problematic drinking levels. I wasn’t a classic “alcoholic” (no physical withdrawals), but I couldn’t stop myself from getting near black out drunk when going out with friends, which was causing personal life issues.

My solution was two fold —

1. Step 1 was I needed time off to recalibrate and lower my tolerance. I first did a dry week, where I had my girlfriend hold me accountable. I later did a full dry month, again, using my girlfriend for accountability. I also scheduled weekly check ins for extra accountability.

2. Step 2 was that when I did return to drinking, I tracked all my drinks religiously. I downloaded an app and tracked every drink. Bringing alcohol consumption into conscious memory via writing it down helped a lot.

3. A subtle step I did on the side was starting meditation. This wasn’t directly related, but I strongly, strongly believe it gave me the emotional strength to succeed at this.

I have not consumed over moderation in many years at this point.

This is key. I switch the herbals after 4pm.

Very interesting idea!! I’m going to try applying this to other aspects of my life.

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Most people have the most co-dependent tendencies with their own children.

One other thing, for me it had proven impossible to moderate. Stopping entirely worked. (I say “stop” instead of “quit” because it seemed less daunting to me….) Once I had the first drink, my brain could always convince me that one more drink was a great idea. Always. I called my brain my enemy during that time. “Deciding not to decide” was my mantra. I had decided that I would not make a decision later about whether or not to drink. I knew at night my brain would start trying to convince me that drinking one night wasn’t so bad, I’d already gone without for so long. I knew it was going to happen so I decided in advance that there was no choice to be made. I used basically IFTTT: If my brain is saying This, then I will say/do That. If my brain is saying “I’m all keyed up, I need to relax,” then I will respond with very specific premeditated plans: “I will text my mom. I will wash my face. I will do a face mask. I will watch this one reality show that I only watch when I’m feeling like this.” Ideally, it would be a That that is reinforcing or some sort of self-care or a treat. I think it’s totally fine (although I can only speak for my situation) to have a bowl of ice cream with all the toppings when your brain is telling you it would be such a great idea to have a drink. Treat yourself during this time. Your brain WILL require itself once you teach it that these urges will be responded to with different behavior. Once you establish a new routine—and undoubtedly it can take a while, even if your “routine” wasn’t super consistent—the intrusive thoughts become less relevant and they will slow down until they stop. I’m still shocked that I just forget about alcohol altogether for weeks if not months.

I’ve been a lifelong binger, and abstainer, there really is no middle ground for me, as sad as that is because in limited doses alcohol can be okay. I just can’t consume in limited doses though, and have pretty much sidelined my life with alcohol issues. Currently on a clean streak, just trying to stay positive

Please share

I was sick of hangovers ruining my weekends. I just made the realization that I didn’t need alcohol to be part of my life any longer. It’s been 37 months and going great. Make it past that first weekend and start that new routine without the booze. After that, it was smooth sailing for me. Good luck.

I replaced alcohol at night with way too much Amazon shopping, and then switched to doing face masks/skin care. After a while, that got old but by that time I had broken the alcohol habit and my brain was no longer my mortal enemy/under the chemical spell of alcohol so I could do whatever.

Fair enough, OP saying they can’t sit still made me think they just legit had things they needed to do and were thinking about those things and trying to work on them. Too often it seems people look for ways to ignore what they should probably just tackle and get out of the way and I’ve witnessed it too many times in my own life in the form of friends or family members living with filth, unpaid bills, and any other problem with a known solution but they just want to relax with a few beer so they don’t have to think about all the stress when they really should be. Its a cycle and I was asking OP because I was curious why they consider thinking about what they should be doing as a bad thing. It could be skewed perceptions, maybe they had a role model growing up who came home from work and laid on the couch for the rest of the day and they can’t understand why they can’t relax the same way. It might just be they’re comparing themselves to a wildly different person. Who knows, my side is purely anecdotal. I do hope Im not doing any harm by asking.

mar-jua-na cha cha cha

I think reading “This Naked Mind” can also be very inspiring!

As someone who was emotionally addicted to tea for many years, just make sure you stick to non-caffeinated teas in the 6-8 hours before you go to bed.

Embrace what it feels like to wake up refreshed. Have you tried mindfulness meditation? I can focus on my breathing for 10-45 mins and slow the wheels down. Doesn't have to be fancy or magical woo woo thinking... Maybe watch a documentary about Thich Nhat Hanh and his development of mindfulness during the Vietnam War it's powerfully humbling and his techniques are simple. There's also headspace and other apps.

I felt so much better after quitting weed as well. I would not switch alcohol for weed because in the long term weed can be hard to quit. Weed made me lazy, depressed not to mention was spending money on it.