Have you tried approaching your mother recently and asking her to elaborate more on what it was exactly that was causing this fear and discomfort?

Do you think that if you approached it with a more scientific nature, and less eye rolling internally that she would open up more and be more receptive to sharing with her experiences?

Would framing it in a sense of trying to preserve historical accuracy about the state and the growth from which it's come from help her open up and be willing to divulge some of the things that she may have gone through and and noticed and perceived with her perspective?

You can let her know there's at least one if not hundreds or thousands of people just waiting by their screens to see any type of accountability or accounting or reckoning of the past of the state that we all know and love not to mention just the world we live in.

Especially at a time where men were teaching women to be weak and subservient and that they have to be this ideological pure thing. Whereas men historically have been taught they should act almost opposite of that. They need to be assertive borderline aggressive, they have to take what they want, that they're out there to be the driving force. Especially if this was in the '60s and it was a white dominated culture.

And if this was in a rougher area, or lower income area The likelihood of that aggression and that domineering personality being less cultured and more instinctive and impulsive goes up exorbitantly.

It's why statistically lower income neighborhoods and communities have higher crime rates than more affluent communities. Low income communities have less access to higher education, less access to tools that would teach them interpersonal and communicational skills.

So you have a higher rate of crime, a riot higher rate of violence, a higher rate of aggressiveness. That could be scary to a teenage person Male or female. especially if they're not accustomed to that situation if they were raised in a kinder home. Or gentler home. Or one that just had a different outlook and perception on life.

This is all conjecture. I wasn't alive in the '60s. I have no first-hand experience with this. I myself am a white male. This is just speculation and a thought experiment based on communication and my experiences with just people and life in general.

That makes a lot of sense. We aren't POC, but looking at it like that I can definitely see a young woman being unsafe in a male dominated world. As a female myself, I'm surprised I didn't think of this. Thank you for this perspective!

That's what I meant, I'm sorry if it came across as the building. I've always assumed my grandfather was saying the people there were dangerous. But I've also always assumed my mother was just super sheltered. It wasn't until today that I started thinking that bad ass people have to hang out somewhere, and maybe they really did hang out at the bowling alley!

Is your family people of color? Imagine being a person of color in the 1960s? If not it could be just the fact that even if it wasn't a racial thing it was definitely a man dominated world.

Imagine being a young woman, walking into an establishment that is primarily congregated with males. You have no protections, you have no rights, there's a strong chance that those men are going to harass you, be pushy, a bunch of younger dudes trying to impress each other.

Back then sensibilities were different, children were raised differently especially women. And so the sensibilities that were instilled in the general population at the time might put this exaggerated sense of expectations as to how people are supposed to be. And so being young and impressible and walking into an establishment and a situation that is so far outside of that teaching in that comfort is also going to be extremely scary.

Maybe it wasn't the place, but the people, that your grandfather was warning your mom about, and in sharing the memory with you as a teen you keyed on to the location?

There was a bowling alley on Main St, I think?? Maybe it was a roller rink too at some point?? It was in a scary building that looks kind of run down, right by the fire station. It’s empty now, but maybe that was it?

The one with the pool room on Washington St.? Used to hang out there in high school. Not scary.

I know Middletown pretty well, never heard of a haunted (since you said scary) bowling alley.

All my friends went there to smoke endless cigs before they were 18 because nobody asked questions there, and when our parents asked why we reeked it was because we went bowling all night. This was Willi Bowl though, it wasn’t so scary there.

Obviously not but that doesn’t mean you should do it.

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You think that's bad, try Starbucks. I'm a big fan of dunkin coffee

CT and taxes, name me a more iconic duo

You’re going to have to pay .75% (more if it’s over $800,000) to the state and .25-.50% to your town depending on the town no matter what.

100%!! Make your money, invest....contribute to the shortage of affordable houses by driving up the cost to buy....don't complain about tax.

I actually wanted to look up the most recent rules. Have handy? I am lazy Isn't there an exemption if u buy a new one within a year of like kind

You're going to have to pay the conveyance tax, there is no exemption based on owner-occupancy.

Wtf

You need to get out more.

Real estate agent here. Conveyance tax is a mandatory fee paid by the seller. It was supposed to be a temporary item that was passed several years it. It is split between the town and the state. I tell clients to estimate about 1% of the sales price, but to check with their attorney for their figure.

VA, NC

You'll want to talk to a real estate lawyer or accountant instead of us random idiots on Reddit.

So where would you go when you move out

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